[Music]
good monkey very simple man
[Music]
i love you [ __ ]
this is awesome car robber sunnyvale is
a huge
is hit you know what it's a subtlety i
think the fans appreciate
but more importantly if we just touch
one kid with our message
it's all worth it dude am i too late for
the signing
off me you pigs bastard car thief dude
my game rules
did you lose this
that part is rad
i have some business to talk to you
about who is the lesbian that's no
lesbian boris that's some guy named
jared hi there boris
remember me i was there when you did the
voice of anatoly in car robber sunnyvale
it's really good to see you again
neat what an interesting custom dave you
only pay me five dollars for my voice
now your game is big success
you owe me money no way dude a deal is a
deal
is that so is deal deal now smartass
whatever dude do whatever you want to
jerry i am not paying you one
cent wait no what follow my lead dude
jerry's not afraid of you dick
is that so yeti no it is not so i am
terrified of you sir
okay you two donkey balls but let me
tell you this
this is not the last time you have had
from boris well that is the end of that
[Music]
dave why would you do that that guy
seems serious you're totally cheesing me
off again
stop being such a [ __ ] oh did you
forget to put on your 7 000 maxi pads
today
where'd your car cry baby oh my gosh
boris is trying to kill me you know what
would help you to chill out oh what
could possibly
chill me out after a gangster blew up my
car if you took me to your house and
watched me smoke all your weed actually
that would just
chill you out hey jerry if you weren't
such a selfish bastard it would help you
too
[Music]
hello game of vision um i don't know if
mr larady is here yet
i can't understand you you sound weird
your name is mr larity
then why are you calling for yourself
why the hell are there hedgehogs
everywhere what's a hedgehog
that's a mammal of the sub family aaron
aca and the order
aaron a seal more for you ignorant [ __ ]
hedgehogs
well i love it i'm sick of shooting bats
dean
it's relaxation killing time yeah mr
larity
you just called for yourself but you
sounded really old
i did well what did this me say my name
was
it was just mr larady huh
well that's interesting
oh my gosh i think that's fire oh my god
mary jane maybe it's not too late
mixed chair with old magazines lampshade
photo albums
game console damn underwear
goldfish irreplaceable comic book
collection and yes
oh the sweet stuff oh yeah
oh this is good we should smoke house
all the time where can i score some
house dude oh my gosh
oh my gosh my life is over again oh why
does this stuff keep happening oh i know
because you're a selfish jerk dave
whoa jerry i don't know if you can see
them over here but their feelings here
man
are you getting my message now dave uh
what message oh if you left it on
jerry's machine there's a good chance he
isn't gonna get it because his apartment
is on fire
oh stupid american this message
[Music]
that guy talks and riddles
hey claire you seen jerry no but you
have this package and it smells and it's
bloody
holy crap heard you have trouble making
games jerry sends you a hand
what you know good is that jerry's hand
that could be anybody's hand you want a
hand i'd get you a hand by three o'clock
man there are ways
hell i got a hand on my desk drawer yeah
you're right
hockey hands are all over the place yeah
we'll probably find them after the
meeting
now what the hell is with these damn old
hedgehogs
dave you responsible for this i wish i
could say yes but i'll take credit if
you need me to
i appreciate that blasty i wouldn't
touch a hedgehog with clearances you
know what
it could be fine i admit it
i purchased one rare hedgehog for study
in my game colonic the hedgehog
apparently it was pregnant but you will
see that my new game is well worth any
trouble
behold my genius
[Music]
i see you still using that pussified
yankee repeater
papi what are you doing here
what's that i can't understand you when
you're talking yankee
peppy not in front of my employees
that's important
i still hear a hell of a lot of yankee
whoever this guy is i love him damn it
daddy you told me
everything i know about talking yankee
son you want my respect now get on over
here
give me a hug i just slapped some sense
into that medicine ball you call ahead
hey everybody this my papi
the honorable press got daniel apple
maddox larity
he's the biggest texas oil tycoon there
ever was
and is yeah hey bro
papi what did you bring me dean you got
bigger just like the walking tumor you
are
whoa bro that was harsh what's up enough
for this grab-ass mouth full of chow
namby pamby goof we got business needs
sending to so let's get tending
yeah did that just happen
[Music]
now daddy what can i do you for son i've
been keeping my eye on you
and you've done yourself proud with this
air game company
but it's time for you to be back where
you belong where they're all
so light and sweet you can use it for
jack lube and maple syrup
what you're saying you're coming back to
texas work for the old man
don't worry i'm gonna buy your company
out fairs and squares
it's time to negotiate you know the
rules
let's do this west texas stop
[Music]
call it jasper grab your partner by the
pile punch him dead right in the crawl
slap him now
[Music]
we had some pain we had some fun now the
business deal is done
take that one off now show me around i
want to kick the tires like a turd you
call a business
[Music]
come on severed hand work hello david i
heard you're having trouble with halo 2
angel wars typical i just wanted to let
you know that colonic the hedgehog is
shipping tomorrow
ah todd is one again good hell todd
let's go my furry friend damn it this
hand is defective
you pay me my money sister or you will
be the ladies of perpetual sorrow
what the hell are you doing stealing
cars and kicking ass
hell yeah level two dude it's my good
friend zeus
he's from the island of lesbos a lesbian
wait
lesbian lesbian lesbian that makes me
think of dudes why why would that be
oh jerry yes holy crap
i gotta go find jerry and this of course
is the hallway uh we use it to walk from
room to room uh you sound like i used my
pecker to ride from womb to wound
ghost talking daddy i missed you how's
my dear old sweet mama
did what well i was meaning to write but
i don't know how
but don't fret son she died doing what
she loved
swimming she drowned hell no being
pounded like a two dollar nail by my
ranch hand cow
look son your dead mama's in the past
left behind like a rotten corpse
this here me and you is the future
now what do you call this contribution
happy that's an indoor outhouse well
wonders never cease well i think
whoopsie man what the hell did honky
kong just pee on the floor
you filthy sum [ __ ] man you white
people ain't got no manner let me tell
you something black steve
that old man's pecker's like a divining
rod and when it gets loose
it can only mean one thing oh what you
talking about mr larry there's a oil
right here
under game of vision ain't that right yo
turd with the moustache right it's my
marriage last year to miss january
you tried to swindle me old man yeah
it's about to get
real that's fantastic i'd expect
nothing less from the man who shot me
out now let's get to drilling
boy we gonna drill a bigger hole in your
floor than that drill
and miss january 74. yeah
man i got to stop hanging out with the
white folk
hey baby you want date yeah and would
you like chlamydia
my good friend it's me boris
finally you come boris this may be
coming out of left field dude but have
you seen
jerry ah yes i have the lesbian come
with me
oh dave you made it oh thank god
look what they did to me man that was
your hand
okay my bad look you dumb son of a [ __ ]
pay attention jerry's talking to you you
owe me ah you will make it up to me by
running a few
errands once these errands are complete
we are square you cut off my hand won't
i take
a foot as well they will call you a
sidestroke no
no i'd i'd like to keep that i'm sorry
i'm sorry what do you need us to do
first
okay buttfaddlers i need you to go see
these canadians and ask them for
the bacon
[Music]
okay jerry follow my lead i took a
little canadian in high school i don't
know about this stick with duct tape
dave it's only till he gets something
better buddy and that's a nice looking
stick what is that tea what can i do for
you
eh borisena say he wants the bacon eh
what kind of bacon eh
uh he didn't tell us what kind uh uh
canadian bacon eh is that supposed to be
some sort of joke
who the hell knew canadians were so
violent hey you said cell phone boris
gave us to call the cops quick
screw you eh take off your northern
mexicans
9-1-1 what is your emergency the
canadian gang is trying to kill me
hello blue
[Music]
hey man the canadian thing didn't go so
well then you still
owe me so here is the deal go 69er
sausage house
find a guy named z boyplay and give him
this for me
dave this guy seems cool let's not blow
this laura sends you this
crazy boy
yeah her son she's a tantalizing you
with those sweet meats
i'm trying dad bro but you won't hold
still the harder they run boy
the harder they scream when you get them
what the hell is this
is that an oil well black steve are you
helping them hell yeah
i'm the project manager [ __ ] and how
did you get permits for all this
we're from texas we don't need none of
them yankee rule
following papers it's a gusher
that's what she said you'll get centered
at a labor camp
okay men who like to have sex with other
men
again you have to be more gangster more
aggressive
i want you to go and talk to these
eskimos or as i call them
ice pirates the leader is a man called
jimmy the watermelon
he will have a muffin for you get a
muffin from ice pirates who are oh
eskimos okay are you messing with us no
i need this muffin
go so do you think this is the place
yeah i think this is the place dude dave
i don't know about this crab hand
dude it's only temporary i'll get you
something better later after we do this
let's get this job
done all right you pirates
somebody better give bars his muffin
give boris message
from jimmy
[Music]
just like old times paul we're gonna
need you to cease and desist i have an
injunction
this is the first natural infestation of
the subfamily arisini
on this continent they're endangered man
and adorable
it's ridiculous how adorable they are
you're not drilling for anything in
their habitat but this is my habitat
you've been served sir
you know what's gonna get served with
this paper my ass
what the hell happened all you have to
do is pick up a muffin sorry man i know
a muffin was probably code for drugs or
cash or something really cool
no it was just a damn muffin now what
the hell am i supposed to have with my
latte
look i think i have to kill you and sell
your teeth for necklace
you can't do anything and i want my
money clarity has money
make mr larity pay you car robber is his
game anyway we just
work for him he's our pimp and we're
just lowly wage [ __ ]
please have mercy i have nothing left i
have an ice cream scooper for a hand
yeah i was going to ask you about that
listen
business is language that transcends
cultural barriers
come i will speak to this clarity pimp
to pimp
my lawyers here have examined this legal
document
for words and backwards and they say
this document clearly states no drilling
may occur at gamer visual while
hedgehogs are present
or until said hedgehogs have been moved
to another
happy habitat so in order for you to
drill
and for all of us to no longer work here
we just have to find a nice farm for the
hedgehogs dang it
i like the sassy mouth on that one i'd
like to see it sipping from my sam
houston sorry i don't sip south of the
mason dixon
quit your flirting and listen up this
here says we gotta find these hedgehogs
a happy home
and what's the happiest home area heaven
dean
hey actually you're correct this time so
that's where we sit in these varmints
right straight to him oh
my muppets quick follow the sounds of my
flute
wait where are you going
dig my little friends as though your
adorable lives depend upon it
for they do fear not i'm coming with you
i am one of you now hits hungary
it's very difficult i'm in harder dirt
than you are
[Music]
hey there pc hey waz yup i got this cool
new computer
what you got over there apple it's the
new apple 2e
the apple 2e has 64k of ram
well i have a disk drive that's cool the
apple 2e has a duo disc
well mine has a screen so does the apple
2e and it can display upper and
lowercase letters how rad is that
fine woz you win apple is better than pc
you're the luckiest man in the world is
that what you want to hear
i am lucky i don't really know how i
could get any luckier
cool hedgehogs they make such great pets
i guess i just got luckier oil
awesome hey steve guess what i just
struck oil
come on over it's
thing ain't awesome no more crew i
reckon it's gone dry
strangest thing i've seen in my life
aside from the pygmy sex shows i've seen
in the ivory coast
hey damn you pay your gosh darn pants
right now come on
nothing but emptiness boy happy is that
true i'm afraid so son not a drop of
urine no
oil no no
no no no no oh
it's a darn hedgehogs they must have
tunneled the oil somewhere
now don't blame the critters maybe you
just ain't oil man
me this is your fault for trying to
swindle me yo
coot all i gots now is disappointment
and a bladder full of dusty rocks do not
worry lesbian
i will not dismember you more my quarrel
is with your cowboy pimp
peppy you're lowering cow balls on a
dusty old home pimp
you must give me money for use of my
voice in your game
i ain't giving you squat diddle bump
rusky
i had a hell of a day and i recommend
you don't tempt me to paint you like a
zebra and stick you in
we [ __ ] dungeons pig like you now you
are giving us monies
or we will have gang wars
you ain't never gonna get to drop on an
old wild cat like me
[Music]
i'm dying boy oh puppy use always
a terrible disappointment you ain't
worth the water shot to meet you
you you killed my daddy you some [ __ ]
yes
i put the bullet through talking hat who
is your father i think now we are square
now boy we ain't square we ain't square
at all
i owe you big amigo you are boris hell
yeah i do
you just made me the richest man west of
the mississipp
as soon as i get ole miss january bumped
off i'm gonna set things right with you
boris is listening
now you feel dave soldier short on your
voice talent
and i reckon he did and i can't say i
ain't proud of him for it
now you did the right thing when you
chopped off jerry's hand
that's scary now what you say you take a
couple of my boys here to [ __ ] out his
sex slaves
and we'll just call it a day boris likes
the spirit of your offer but
he has plenty sex slaves
maybe you have something else i want
these pocket pet creatures
i know japanese businessman be very
interested their meat
fetch top dollar them varmints hell take
them off
where am i well you can take him too i
have no use for fat nuts
what are you doing okay we take fat nerd
too that sounds like a deal there use me
but i must be home by sex mother wears
herself sick i guess this is one of
those
all's well that ends well kind of things
oh david i reckon you're right i have no
right hand
seriously my hand is gone
[Music]
this robot hand is going to be great
make sure it's calibrated right or you
could go choke the chicken
and pull its head right off no it's
amazing i have the motor control of a
concert pm really let's put that to the
test hey put on this blindfold to the
side yeah
okay all right right there what is that
feels weird huh yeah it feels like ah
damn it dave
well i was meaning to write but i don't
know how