good
good monkey money simple man
i love you [ __ ]
thank you easy credit and supply side
economics my new yafa blocks are the
bomb
you know we should take field trips to
the sunnyvale mall more often
i love my new shoulder massager if it's
perfectly in my
shoulder indeed summer is upon us and
these new opie shorts display my mighty
thighs magnificently if i do stay so
myself
i am the adonis of this workplace
seriously dude it's like you're begging
me dave
please kick my ass luckily for you i'm
wearing my new vans and i don't want to
get taut ass all over them
it's weird but today i almost like you
guys
or perhaps it's just the feeling of
having something i can trust between my
legs
credit rules my new tv watch is the best
i can use it to check the weather so i
don't wear sandals when it rains
that reminds me i better check it's just
in the bloated video game industry is in
a terrible slump
console sales are down game sales are in
the old crapper looks like tech nerds
are in for a fast slide down the poop
tube
if i was in silicon valley i start
tightening my belt alas
this belt can be tightened no more todd
pull your shorts down you're giving me
nightmares i can see your bilbo baggins
wait i don't understand what's happening
it's their own fault janice
if you serve people crap when they don't
eat it then you have to
speaking of crap did you ever play that
e.t game horrible hey screw you
owie you broke my wrist jerk
okay who's got a hot pitch for me how
can we pitch at time like this
this video game crash has put our
livelihoods in peril
p.s my groin sweat has rendered these op
shorts
unreturnable and my lunch unkeeped down
a bowl you guys turn barf's back and
calm down
i've been through plenty of market
tumbles how did you make it through
well let's see back in 78 mrs larry
number six died in a tragic strangling
accident
i got some big-time coin out of that oh
great now we're all gonna be broke
easy there cowgirl all you gots to do is
dip into your savings what are savings i
want one but all my gold has a delicious
chocolate center chocolate center
that is some racist noise wait game of
vision is financially solid right
game of vision is solid as morning wood
solid as a nun's backhand
solid is a goby desert booger my prenup
ball tumor a cheerleader's chesticle
okay stop you're making me horny my
point is that there is absolutely no
chance that i'm as overextended as a
pervert pecker in a panty tornado
you people will have your jobs tomorrow
come rain or shine
i swear to go that's a huge relief sir
thank you so much did he just swear to
goat
i knew he swore to goats man if i had a
dollar for every time i was disappointed
by the white man
i'll be a millionaire and this game
crash could suck my
don't worry guys i have a plan
this was the plan you don't like it you
can drink somewhere else got it
so stupid we are skilled people
we just have to apply to wealthier
better managed game companies
mary i want you to know that i have
always respected you as a programmer wow
thanks todd that was actually nice
unfortunately
the only way to usurp your power is to
kill you and wear your skin as a cape
let it begin now go away
you're gonna blow this interview for me
run for your life they're eating brains
i see the zombie wars have begun my only
chance for survival is to align myself
with the undead no man
they're just programmers looking for a
free meal
eater first let's save the skin for me
okay jerry when they come in for the
interview
let me do the talking no offense dude
but you do not know how to talk to
people
welcome to midway my name is ed boone
well first off thanks for making such
great games i hear you doing some really
cutting-edge stuff here
he's kidding rampage sucked that's a hit
game what about defender
gauntlet spy hunter uh dumb don't care
lame what was the last one look i'm fans
of your work at game of vision
but these are tough times all i can
offer you is entry-level jobs oh believe
me we'll take them no he won't
screw you dude we are serious talent and
when you're ready to make us a serious
offer
you know how to reach us no i don't then
you'll be hearing from my lawyer that
doesn't make any sense oh doesn't it
or does it let's go jerry i'm so sorry
okay you want to play hardball we can
play hardball all day long
you give us good jobs or i'm going to
tell everybody you try to snorkel my
chad jerry's my witness
that's it finish that
[Music]
those dudes do not know how to talk to
people
so uh we can't get jobs let's look on
the bright side we are getting drunk
that's positive ah why did i become a
programmer instead of learning a
practical skill
no job means no health insurance who's
going to pay for my vagina pills now
stop complaining you got syphilis
you're a sad loser so what game of
vision not just my job it's my house
now benny got no house martin did you
move your ass
more mead went black steve what are you
doing at the mall in the middle of the
day i work here
i'm gonna count that h r black [ __ ]
wait a minute
the solution to our problem is all
around us the
mall this place is filled with
employment opportunities
show us your to get the [ __ ] off the
stage the boob troll is right
yeah we can all get jobs right here and
still see each other every day your bail
sir
uh drinking yourself to death at the
expense we're hiring here at stinky
cheese
we're also hiring in my pants care to
apply for a position jam
hey what's the problem here this
unemployed bum ran up a 600
towel dude i've never even seen 600 and
it looks like you got a job working for
stinky cheese
yo that looks like you dad of course it
does boy
i used to own this here novelty company
and today
we're taking her back ha this here's a
corporate raid here
yeah give me your panties what's up mr
larry
how do you know my name woman she's a
witch
give me three wishes witch quiet boy
lady tell me how you know my name or i'm
feeding you to the hogs
mr larity i work for you you still own
this company
i do yes when your ex-wife died
ownership reverted to you we thought
that was why you
killed her what was that nothing just
please put down the guns
looks like i'm back in business hot damn
let's make some novelties
something has gone horribly wrong i have
a foam pretzel on my head
what are you talking about we still get
to be work buddies only now we work at
the pink pretzel instead of game of
thrones i'm gonna go stick my head in
the pretzel oven
oh i'm impressed jerry you've been at
peak pretzel for just two hours but
from what i see you've got management
potential wow thanks kevin
i've never been praised before it feels
really good guess what buddy
i'm making you the assistant manager or
as we say in the biz
my pink pretzel first lady oh my gosh
the pretzel first lady
wow finally the respect i deserve i
think i was underappreciated at my last
workplace kevin i know you were jerry
and here's the sweet part banging
mulchix is way easier
when you got the assistant manager hat
oh
look at that yeah having sex with ladies
is cool
yeah it is jer all right listen i gotta
go to the bathroom and
help some ladies with a plumbing problem
if you know what i mean you mean sex
with a lady
word hey time for natalie from the
brewing company to practice her chugging
this might take a while cause uh i hear
she's
okay mary olivia there's a new pretzel
first lady in town
and her name is me you've got to be
kidding i'm as serious as a heart attack
missy and i've got news for you
if you've got time to lean you've got
time to clean now get to it you're so
cool you work for a bit called stinky
cheese now man how hard can it be
you serve pizza to children then let
them play violent video games some of
which i made like rather bong over there
awesome hey this sort of makes me an
expert let me tell you something
stinky cheese is hardcore how much do i
make as a waiter not enough
dude then i'll have to find a way to
supplement my income
and over here is the bodily waste
department rubber division mr larity
i made you this plate of brownies to
welcome you back to the company oh
i get it you took a dump in the brownies
and now you wants me to eat it
i'm game hey everybody look at me
i'm eating butt fudge why would you say
that about my brownies
you don't get it i love getting tricked
into eating
oh dave used to do it to me all the time
sorry todd i can't let you in here see
my shirt
i have applied everywhere but no one in
this infernal mall
will employ me clearly i'm too
overqualified david i
implore you to help fine first off if
you want to work here you have to wear a
speedo
all right your job is to climb into the
pizza ovens and scrape off the burnt
cheese but you got to do it while it's
hot or it won't come off question
may i eat the scraping no damn you guys
used to be programmers right what do you
care
possum yeah i was a programmer too barry
sackwell
i created handheld baseball in the 70s
and now you're living the dream here at
stinky cheese sweet
dream it's a nightmare
not the possum pouch not the possum
pouch
all right people i want to hear your
ideas for fresh novelties what you got
how about a squirting hand buster nice
one roger that's what i got at the
massage parlor last week yeah
what else what about a rubber turtle
make it a talking vagina and we got the
winner no i will not well this place
sucks harder than an angry ant eater
dave came up with better gags when he
was getting his stomach pumped dean
sales charged you see we want sales to
go
up sales should be like my fifth wife
and never go
down sir weapons are not allowed in this
office
and how'd you sneak him sweet ass
sweater cannons in here sugar
mr lardy i'm going to have to interrupt
you now and strenuously suggest you
attend a sexual harassment seminar with
our hr specialist dang it you're
probably right
i'm getting old and my harassment ain't
what it used to be
sweater cannons heck i must seem like a
dinosaur
i'd love to say something like let's
just make a whoopee and then i'll
poo-poo all over you
that'd get a rise out of you youngins
don't touch me todd do you see who that
is over there some kid what about it
some kid some kid
that is steve wiebe possibly the
greatest young player alive
he has high scores on my most diabolical
games
orc dancer and space laser three he
finished in under two hours oh why don't
you marry him crazy man
perhaps in time i will when he is of
legal age
command me great one mister are you
having a stroke
because i don't want to quit or cancer
but i will if you're having a stroke
people are more important than high
scores steve weavey my eye has been upon
you for
years someday you will rise above me
immortals
how may i help you defeat the dancing
orcs um
i guess i could use a soda and so soda
you shall
my young paddle you only made eight
thousand dollars last year
you should kill yourself right now in
fact that would be a great way to save
on your taxes
here you can use this hey bs i got a job
at the information booth
fat people ask me where stores are that
have clothes they'll never fit into
who's hand
are black it's h r black you dumb
cracker you're selling crackers
if you ladies think that you can handle
the stand alone for a sec i'm gonna take
a few pretzels to some of our other
vendors whatever mustache jerry's
cool huh uh no yeah he has a car
and his own house apartment and it's a
studio he's an artist too
shut up no unless you count crying as an
art
ugh he must be sensitive could you stop
talking he doesn't like you because
you're so
old huh that's really sad i mean i don't
know because i'm not old
but when i look at you it must be sad
cause you're old
um hey what are you guys playing oh
we're playing the rhetor bone stranger
man i don't know
it's the most awesome game on the street
hey you gotta try it out okay
wow sure looks cool say how'd you like
to make a bet with old dave who's never
seen rather bong
you promised you never played it crossed
my nuts and hoped to get high yeah
wow you own jake will pray you for every
quarter you got right guys
[Music]
oh man that was every quarter i
ever earned waxing my dad's back yes
face hey do you kids know where to buy
some weed face david get off rather bong
my master returns and may wish to play
you've designed it after all surely
you've seen it enough by now
what you said you'd never even played it
before i lied you wanna do something
about a little kid
ah sorry dave i better make it look real
[Music]
barry i just got my ass kicked and
robbed by little kids this job
sucks how do you stay positive man i
don't programming was the best job i
ever had
then one day i saw some kid on the
street playing my game
you said it sucked i choked him now i'm
a 45 year old fake marsupial
every night i pray for death
seems like it's working i have a grand
in my pouch if you kill me it's yours
something painless though like a clean
head shot nothing with fire come on it
can't be that bad at least you get to
drink in there
and i bet you could barf out your
eyeballs
look it's stinky cheese you know what
i'm hungry for
barbecue possum
that is not how he wanted to go but
hopefully
the offer is still good nothing but
ashes what a dick
you died for nothing a young master
for steven weeby is there anything this
humble servant can do for you
uh yeah i told my parents about you and
they said you sound weird
and not to talk to you and will you defy
them no
because if i do i can't play video games
anymore young master
that is preposterous you shall sail the
seas of gaming as a great warrior
you need my firm supple hand holding on
your tiller with a firm grip spiderweb
spiderweb spiderweb swarm swarm swan
wait a minute this is the same bozo we
caught in the renaissance fair sting and
again i say to you officer
the baubles for bosom scandal was a
set up oh sure save it for the judge
fatty
the young squire has rejected my
training bail for our
misunderstanding cost me much of my
treasure
laboring as an oven peasant is
humiliating and my immediate superior is
an
imbecile shut up i'm awesome yeah well
jerry's my boss
enough said you know what i love my job
and i'm not afraid to say that
even when i don't have time to lean i
still find the time to clean
screw you jerry mary you have uh 40
seconds left on your break
so uh shut up guys i have seen the
future
and in it we are all bitter drunk in
possums and what happens to drunken
possums
they get hit by a station wagon and
crawl under my porch to die
and then they burn look we need to
restore game of vision to its former
half-assed glory we don't need
larity we'll go there we'll squat there
and pretend we're doing work and then
i'm sure eventually somebody will pay us
money
[Music]
why would you do that uh because i hate
you let's go everybody i'm sorry
i belong here and that's what a personal
boundary
is now here are some more things that we
consider to be
off limits in the workplace sexual
conduct of any kind
so something like this would be
off-limits yes i got you
take your hands off my breasts can do
just tell me when
now also off-limits are words of a
sexual nature
yeah right that's the same word
just with a me after it also sexual
propositions yeah but how do you feel
about sexual prepositions
i'm not sure i follow inside between
through under behind
and all over mr laridy please
well dang it woman if you don't want it
why are you talking so hot
you got some varmints squirming like a
whistle in a sweatshirt that right there
that is sexual harassment oh if dave was
here right now i'm sure he'd say
something delightfully skewed to raise
my spirit
you know what i can't do this movies
movies movies welcome to the pink
pretzel can i help you really
is that all you have to say to me would
you like to try our new pretzel bites
yes but that's not the point we're going
to gamevision to get our old lives back
come on man
sorry dave i'm the pink pretzel first
lady now i've finally found a place that
values me for me
my employees respect me i have an
awesome mustache and i have a hot
girlfriend who thinks i'm cool
isn't that right olivia are you talking
about me behind my back again studly
whoa i know you you're eric mom's little
stepsister the sperm whale
she's 16 dude you're going to jail it is
gonna be awesome what
16 olivia oh gosh i knew our
relationship was too good to be true
thank goodness we only went to first
base jerry no
i am ready to be with an older man and
go
to fifth base you only got to first base
weight fifth base yes
first base we held hands oh man after
this scandal comes out they're gonna
strip me in my duties as the pink
pretzel first lady
look sperm whale if you ever want to get
blowholed give me a call
what the hell is blowhole you don't have
to play innocence for a whale i know
that you have gobbled more squid than
moby dick see you on the poop deck
sailor
and bring some friends rare
i'm sorry people but you're all laid off
on the count of the horrible fire
what fire listen right here here
fire why'd you have to burn it
dad son sometimes when you love
something you got to set it free
but other times when that thing becomes
an inconvenience and you'd be better off
with the insurance money
than you guys to burn it like mom now
you're getting it boy
all right everybody we run game of
vision now and we're gonna do it on our
terms
clarence and black steve i need you guys
to pull those boards off the window mary
and claire
stand over there and make out i'm game
if marion jerry and i are gonna set up
our own offices and make some sweet
video games
there's that hunky that screwed us over
there hey dad look it's those people
too late jerkwads we're taking
possession of this turd bag you used to
own
i'm the only one that calls my company a
turd bag well it's not your company
anymore
it's ours this is a people's revolution
we will stand your tyranny no longer
villain that's right tell them dave good
thing you got here mr lardy
mary is trying to turn game of vision
into a communist cult modeled after the
female reproductive system sorry mary
what dave i missed your honesty and your
brownies
dean pound these reds into some blood
pudding you got it bro why would you do
that
oh i think you broke my back all right
let that be a lesson to you all
never trust me ever
[Music]
sorry i had to get physical with some of
you folks
but i learned my lesson i ain't never
giving up game of vision again that's
all you have to say after abandoning and
then assaulting us
yeah that's all now who's got some fiery
hot pitches for sir before we start i'd
like to say welcome back by presenting
you with this bowl of brownies boy
i hope you get all over these of course
i did wonder if the pink pretzel will
take me back
[Music]
look at me everybody i'm eating we all
are mr larady we all are
you know what i can't do this movies
movie