no one might be like frito's
[Music]
fuzzy secret hearts
[Music]
i love you [ __ ]
it's my dad's birthday he's gonna be so
psyched what's up what do you get a guy
who's killed everything a triceratops
even
awesomer oh he's coming hide everybody
all right boy you know better than to
wake me when i'm taking an anger now
you know i don't like surprises boy
jerry get the hell up it's only some
buck shot
again whoa tell it to that guy what's in
that box i got you an
awesome birthday present dad it's only
the last white rhino in the whole world
what's up
sweet molasses cakes i'm gonna send that
majestic mother
right back to hell now mary when i say
pull
you best open that crate a kill before
10 a.m
it is my birthday get ready dean right
nothing could possibly go wrong here
bro the inside of your face is now on
the outside of your face somebody
grabbed a wrap
on my teeth thinking i was going to wash
that chips marathon
i guess that's out
listen up people as you all know my
dummy son
gave me a face full of leads i'm gonna
be here for a few days sweet so the
office is closed
hell no it's business as usual somebody
needs to take my place
jerry lacks balls todd lacks charm and
tolerable body odor uh
benny's a kid he's bright but he's just
a kid uh black steve
well he's black dave is intriguing but
ultimately a terrible idea
well dean my boy i'm putting you in
charge while i'm gone
all you gots to do is produce one game
it's time for you to spread your wings
boy
okay bro but i don't fly so hot
i mean at the office oh i'm gonna need a
ride there shotgun i called it god help
us out
[Music]
what's up this is the pitch meeting i
want you to say stuff
my head's gonna move if i like it or if
i don't like
it and some of you might get punched so
do it this is it this is my nightmare
okay i'll go first um in my game
self-esteem
engine the first two confusing next
what's up
i would like to resume work on shadow of
the merman 2
quest for daylight what say you duh
that's a nerd game nerd dean i hardly oh
shut up or i'm going to break your neck
you mean break his neck
my hi is mr larady here yo i'm mr larady
now cause i
shot my dad in the face what's up now
get lost okay
well i'm howard scott warsha your father
hired me last week
he howard scott warshaw legendary
designer of yours revenge
raiders of the lost ark saboteur
saboteur
that game was never released well yeah
but i have a bootleg copy
someday the world will know that game's
brilliance howie okay
howard you're the reason that i became a
programmer you're my idol yeah cherry
keeps a picture of you on the ceiling
over his bed that makes you his most
frequent sex partner shut up dave what
happens at pajama party stays at pajama
party
your rule shut up every bro come on
dean it's really hot when you tell
people to shut up tell more people to
shut up shut up claire god
wow shut up or i'll choke you yes now
throw a stapler at me slap me with it
dean crack my damn scalding
do it creep show everybody get out of
here and go
make stuff and better be sweet or i'm
gonna hit you with this brick so let's
rock bros what's up
nice to meet you dave mary black steve
benny
and tommy bye howard huh must not heard
me
bye howard
hey did you notice that howard didn't
say goodbye to me do you think he hates
me
that's not our problemo dude right now
we have a boss with the iq of a sponge
a contraceptive sponge i know it's
terrible wrong it's awesome
what is terrible is that we have not
found a way to take advantage of it yet
now how do you trick a contraceptive
sponge you go through the back door
huh i've got it man damn i am of a
[Music]
genius
larity uh we've got a game pick gotta do
it while you're lifting bro
uh jerry will lift while i pitch come on
jerry well i don't really lift weights
lift wuss okay so the game is called
bros and get this
it's about bros doing only things bros
would do in bro situations
oh dude that game sounds awesome it
reminds me my real life fraternity bros
put it into production what's up okay
but to make it professional
we're gonna need a few things one a
naughty nurse costume also
a naughty nurse and her twin who is also
naughty to go in the costume
along with their boobs and also pizza to
go with the boobs and the nurse
and this is all for bros dude uh oh and
jerry will require
a blow-up doll of mary but only with the
smaller hoo-ha to make his dd
feel a little no problem bro as long as
it's for bros
of course it is i wouldn't lie about
something like bros dean being the boss
has got to be one of the signs of the
apocalypse this morning he asked me for
his allowance that's not my job [ __ ]
what is that it's not a blow-up doll
that looks like you so
i don't know this is officially the
worst workplace in the entire world all
right listen up people
jerry's dreams came true and yours can
too just tell dean what you need to help
you work on the game bros
and dean will give it to you because
he's an idiot you're right
i have to go to the bathroom now leave
the doll jerry oh then
i don't have to go to the bathroom bros
did you hear about bros
it's totally awesome i'm putting tons of
money into it what's up
holy hell he is that stupid dean i need
two thousand dollars for what
research for bro oh of course no problem
bro
i need a new sofa in my office why uh so
i have somewhere to sit while i think
about the game bros
double cool you got it bro you actually
did something cool for us you can thank
me later
on the sofa i need a new ladder what for
bros to do well i'd like the office
exterior to be flanked by gargoyles i
think
not only would it add a touch of class
to this place
dude you deserve that you didn't say the
magic word bros what do you need dude
bro
i don't need anything okay jerkweeds
everybody i want you to get back to work
what's up see you tomorrow dave
mary black steve my man
hey okay jerry all right man
you're tough guy all right tough guy you
can do this you have the initiative the
gall and the gumption there's no way you
can fail you can do it
this is warshaw central where if your
note's not too appalling it's you back
we will be calling
um oh hey howard um jerry here
uh you know from the office i think we
forgot to say goodbye to each other
earlier and i
i just didn't want you to think i was
being rude so uh so goodbye
so stupid ah
[Applause]
this is warshaw central where if your
note's not too appalling it's you back
we will be calling
howard hey jerry again hey
listen that last message might have
sounded a little weird well
i hope not anywho i just wanted to let
you know how cool
i think you are i'm really excited to
see you tomorrow um
go team goodbye
this is warshaw central where if your
note's not too appalling it's you back
we will be calling
uh guess who just kidding
it's jerry again um i forgot to say that
i got you something and i'll give it to
you tomorrow at work
god i hate myself oh did that record oh
it probably did
oh that's cool keep going keep going um
anyway this is jerry
signing off from work so stupid
ah look i made business stuff
yes you did you are such a big important
man dean and i like that and you know
what the best part of being a big
important man is oh no
you get to fire people awesome who do i
fire first how about
everybody yeah oh but then who do i boss
well who do you want to hire my bro are
they totally hot
duh yes and let's get them in here now
fax me
super hard fax me now this chick is rad
[Music]
boom dog bro snakes bro hog bro what's
up
bros yo everybody these are my bros from
my fraternity in florida
alpha sigma sigma you know you went to
college
yeah i'm really smart you know like they
made my dad give him a gym
this is my bro bone dog he's insane i
put a whole catfish up my butt that's
why they call me the bone dog this is my
bro the hog
so they called me that because i ride a
motorcycle yo aunt cause you dated a hog
bro
what's up oh yeah oh and last but not
least my bro sneak they call me sneaks
cause i sneak into girls rooms at night
and i steal their panties
and sometimes i have sex with them when
they're passed out i'll totally sneak
you bro
cool you guys are hot my bros are here
to help out with our new game bros
bone dog's our new bro ducer sneaks is
our new bro
ordinator and hog is gonna head up the
programming damn like this place needs
more crap now everybody gets psyched
because it's rush week
and if you don't rush then you get fired
come on bros i'll show you around the
frat house
elbow
what the hell we can be fired this is so
not cool
who cares i'm gonna get paddled like an
eskimo
kayak dave mixed emotions about this one
check in with me later
hey howard sorry about those weird
messages from last night
answering machines are funny things
right uh yeah
i guess oh hey i i got you this um you
know i was thinking about you
only in a cool way they're shoes so i
thought maybe you could try them on
and if they fit or if they don't we
could just go out to lunch together or
whatever uh
i don't eat lunch ever oh look i gotta
go
see you later dave bye howard jerry you
are driving the short bus to weirdo city
you do not buy another man's shoes yeah
i guess that is sort of weird
third alert oh god no how'd you like to
be the rear admiral bro an official rank
intriguing
okay you're in nerd pain i demand that
you cease
it was a joke let us make it up to you
we want to take you to the purple nipple
right now bro
yes looking at female boobs is a form of
male bonding i've been told
fellows let us create the mammary
memories at once
quick step you're already there bro
shea my nipples are indeed purple it
gets
it's grades one through 12 all over
again hey howard
it's uh it's jerry again i wanted to see
no more dude all right
i'll just let it go hey bros my dad just
called and he wants a bro grass report
how are we doing on bro
let me show you the broto type prototype
hells yeah bro
in bros level one you're a bro whose
mission is to chug beards
that's awesome dude but make it awesomer
high five make this guy chug more beards
man just watch a few more seconds okay
dude you're so thinking outside the box
bro yeah he's synergizing this guy
totally deserves a bro motion
bro bro bro bro bro
nice rock you need some spice with that
uh huh nice nipples lady
your war halibuts are awesome good time
for a wet t-shirt contest huh boys
yeah what t-shirt dude hey you win
oh my glutes dude please have mercy on
me
my nipples are very sore from your
twisting and
my rectum is truly a flame uh mercy if
you tell us what the capital of thailand
is
bangkok oh yeah dude whatever you say
will this never end am i not a
man you're not a very convincing woman
thanks for coming out to the meeting if
you're present say
suck sup cool now it's time to get on
with the program i like to proceed to
the next piece of business bros
it's the power pole grab my staff dude
nah
oh no that violates protocol
will you please stop it with the bros
there is no such thing as protocol
what are you talking about bro dean
remember what we said you could do to
mean ugly people uh choke em
yes but also fire them
oh yeah dude mary black steve
you both are being very unprofessional
and that kind of behavior is dumb
you two are fired now get out of my
sight good you're an
ass you heard him losers claire's in
charge i mean dean
now get out before i call the cops this
ain't over all right
everybody it's time for a pep talk now
we have to be more proficient so we can
increase productivity
i want all of you to be more proactive
about your bro formats today totally man
yo that's not a word
party foul on bone dog let's get him
yeah
you guys are the best man i am going to
wear this when i marry the most powerful
man at game of vision
i love you i love you say you love me ah
i love you too
dude whatever zayn oh
hey dad bro what's up my face is feeling
much better so i'm coming back to the
office tomorrow and there better be a
game waiting for me to look at whatever
man
stop hassling me bro you are not the
boss of me
i do not believe my ears are you sassing
me boy
if there's no game you can forget about
that new sea-doo i promise
oh we totally don't have bros finished
what are we gonna do my ass is grass i
thought you were a man but you're only a
boy what
oh make your words slow down you wanna
bone me
you have to kill your dad and then
you'll become more awesomer
yo but daddy is my dad bro do you want
to do me
or not ah yeah why are you doing this to
me there's only one thing to do dean
kill mr larity no way
dude then i won't get a sea doo you can
buy a fleet of seadoos when you're the
only boss
holy lord of the black elk petracide
[Music]
gosh these face rehab exercises are a
[ __ ]
mr larity we need to talk you know i'm
usually respectful of your decisions no
matter how
stupid they are but this is just [ __ ]
ridiculous you've got frat boys going
wild at the company
there's goats everywhere dean just fired
black steven me which means that not a
single responsible adult remains a game
of vision
i say we burn the mother down that one
with the helmet's still there isn't it
why
i bring dread tidings i beg you do not
shoot them
luckily that bullet was deflected by my
teeth guards
quit your yapping bout your metal bikini
and tell me the bad news the witch
claire has cast a spell upon dean
she has enchanted him with the promise
of forbidden fruit her lady plum
among other sweet meats to be
surrendered only upon your death hell
i'm almost
out of here sir he plans to kill you
that figures
us larry men have always been
susceptible to the charms of a woman who
don't give away a produce
i once killed five men just to have
lunch with dixie carter you want to go
back there and settle this street star
stop that i must return this to the
conan exhibit where grace jones will be
pissed off there's only one way to fight
a fraternity
and ask to be a fraternity but i'm a
woman verdict's still out on that fella
howard howard are you home
what the hell oh it's on now hi howard
i just wanted to talk to you about
something now i know we're not best buds
yet but your game yar's revenge got me
through some really tough times like
when my mom left my dad for my other mom
i would imagine that i was yar firing my
zorlon cannon trying to destroy kotile
who in my mind was my mom
and i think one day i'll take back sarah
four and i'll throw them right at my dad
yes that's the guy officer and i hope
you brought the heavy jacket because
this dude is
unhitched sir i'm going to have to ask
you to come with us
did you know that after you kill kotel
your initials hsw can be seen on the
screen
at least say goodbye
so what's the plan follow my lead yeah
sup ball bros hold on i smell money in
farts
are you dean's dad that's right and i
banged your mama whoa dude write to the
mom joke that's messed up bro and she
smelled like galveston at low tide
now point me towards my son dean so i
can go kill him and none of you alpha
sigma sigma pirates will get
hurt bro if you want to get to dean bro
you got to go through us bro fine
we hereby challenge your fraternity for
rights to this house we accept your
challenge
as required by the ancient protocols
then let us
bro see
oh man you idiots make me feel like a
genius winner
alpha sigma sigma challenge 2
rodeo
[Music]
oh man challenge three baby pool beer
show the only rule is
if you barf you have to barf into beer
bro foreign
now step aside it's time for me to kill
my son
oh bone dog my nemesis myself
good night tweet prince
there will be no dreams
this is a mess you don't send a frat boy
to do a fratman's job dean
i don't get it my bros are usually super
good at beating people up
we practice all the time well your bros
blew it
if you ever want to put your you know
what am i you know where wait
what where why are you talking in code
and stuff
are you a spy [ __ ] you'll find out
after you kill your father fine let's do
this thing
oh hey dad what's up uh your face looks
fancy so
that's cool well son i heard you wanted
to kill me yeah
sort of but you know whatever what's up
i'm afraid i can't let you do that okay
that's cool i'm just gonna go back to my
office then
oh my blood damn it my skin got
his ass kicked hard and so natural order
is restored once again
this was all dean's idea don't shoot me
your face looks really good i ain't
gonna shoot you
in fact i'm giving you a raise you
showed some serious management potential
ugly
thanks it's a push-up bra
boys we have had our fun but you know i
gots to fire you school
i'm gonna go back to bear stearns you
know it was fun being an alpha sigma
sigma while it lasted
sorta i guess i don't know alpha sigma
sigma
yo someone should really call bone dog's
wife
where the hell have you been at county
some dude named oscar took my underpants
you were in jail it's a private joke
between me and howard
howard thought it'd be a really funny
joke if he put me in jail and it's cool
because good pals can take a joke
and i took it so i guess that means that
we're good pals
not so much in fact i'm giving notice
i'm packing up
moving my family someplace safe later
bros
did you hear that howard said goodbye to
me i'm pretty sure he was looking at me
when he said it hey
howard you were saying goodbye to me
right
[Applause]
you two are fired now get out of my
sight