g4 does not promote the use of illegal
drugs
but what you do with them is your own
business
going monkey like freedom
heart
[Music]
screw you jerry oh hi mary hey you sound
kind of down
is there anything wrong just thinking
about today
you know hitler's birthday i didn't know
you were jewish
i'm not jewish jerry you don't have to
be jewish to get bummed out about
hitler's birthday
anti-semite no wait oh i like jews
and gypsies i'm half jewish
[Music]
not now jerry i'm busy double thumbing
your butt again no dude i'm playing my
ass and exploding
space rocks damn it come on and thanks
to you my ass lost
again ah i don't want this why not dude
it's your joystick
what's the matter jerry good news mary
thinks i'm an anti-semite again dude
that's ridiculous everybody knows you
only gargle kosher sausage
that's what i said it's all because i
didn't know it was hitler's birthday
it is oh dude it is oh yes dave i don't
think that's anything to be happy about
are you kidding it's the most important
day of the year my high holy day jerry
ramadan rolled into easter halloween
smeared all over st
patrick's day kwanzaa christmas until it
cries
dude it's kind of messed up to get that
excited about hitler's birthday hitler
has nothing to do with it man
it's 4 20. oh my gosh
4 20. 4 20 dude the 20th of four
as tradition dictates on this most holy
day we will smoke tons and tons of green
bud and play the best video games i've
ever made
rope-a-dope weed racer and sir lanza pot
we do this to celebrate the legend of
jester hopper pot also known
as the story of 420 dude how does that
legend go again
jester hopper pot was a hippie who
developed weed so strong
that he felt like it had to be hidden he
booby-trapped this route to this hiding
place so that no one could ever find it
then years ago today jester hopper pot
disappeared forever
and when he disappeared so did the
greatest stash of weed man has ever
known
why didn't he come back the theory is
that he got so high he couldn't find his
way back didn't he have a map that my
friend is the worst part
supposedly he did have a map but he was
so high he forgot to bring it and no one
knows where he left it what a tragedy
dude the tragedy right now is that we
don't have any weed i smoked my last
sticky nugget right after breakfast so
unless that's a bag of weed in your
pocket we have to go score some green
[Music]
dude i like what you've done with the
place now about that weed
no weed what you talking about jamie 4
20 is over
dude it's over over over
forever haven't you been watching the
television dude
reading the newspapers tuning in to the
frequency
reagan's new war on drugs has just
intercepted 200 million tons of
marijuana destined for american markets
nancy reagan so hard our false teeth
fall out we will not be deterred we will
celebrate our holy day in the
traditional manner
with the sticky icky green space
kryptonite and the veneration
of the god jester hopper pot and with
these victories
in the war on drugs i am now turning my
attention to some of the other problems
plaguing this country poverty cancer
aids
something much worse video games i have
a list
and i am starting at g game of vision
i am cunning for you not to worry amigos
i got this handled before nancy hooked
up with that scene i love coot
she and i used to do a little backseat
wrestling yo did you win bro
depends on how you define victory
dave is nancy reagan gonna shut down
game of vision who gives a
i got bigger things on my mind like how
to destroy my mind we need to find some
weed dude
that bus is gonna make this town a wee
desert there's gotta be some left in
sunnyvale now think wait
i heard of this pizza place called
three-person mafia you can call them and
you ask for a guy named grottini
and you say you want a dirty pie they're
supposed to bring you weed with it then
why the hell are you still talking call
him
three person mafia pizza rotini speaking
hello
i would like a dirty pie you mean
a dirty pie yes a very
dirty dirty pie the dirtiest pie you
have
delivery to game of vision you got it
that's good but we have to cover our
bases
hello hey mom it's dave hey remember all
that weed that you and dad confiscated
for me in high school
cause you guys weren't cool and didn't
like me high on my mind 24 7.
hey can i get it back dave's trying to
lay dibs on the reefer
screw that today's 4 20. i heard that
old man david i have to go
my own mother will not give me weed
jerry i don't want to live this way i'll
admit it
9-1-1 please state your emergency i need
some weed what is your location wait
wait wait wait pizza's here uh i'll get
back to you
so is this the uh dirty pie the
it's good now where's our dirty pie
you're eating it bro everybody in the
kitchen sat on that
and that cheese is not cheese hey todd
yes
you want some pizza happy 420 dude wait
did he just say 4 20.
i must do the turnip patch
hello nancy i knew you'd be back i'm not
back bob i'm here on official business
hey maybe we should take this
somewhere's private
step into my office you show some
respect
suits you don't need nothing honey i got
this place stocked with whips
chains and fur handcuffs just like old
times
we could do this soft and sweet or we
could go prison rules
ladies choice your games are pulling
america down to the depths of perversion
from now on every cartridge you sell
will have one of these labels
drug use deviant sex that's preposterous
we don't make nothing but squeaky clean
games for squeaky clean boys
hell we got swung so clean it's called
shower time
i'm sleepy but i still feel dirty on the
inside but if you put damn labels on my
games
they gonna stop selling that's the idea
bob
benny get in here and unlock your papa
i'm gonna unlock you later but first
i'm gonna eat every inch of your fruit
roll-up underwear
oh you like that huh unlock it foot roll
up mix with your humiliation make it
[Music]
heavenly
yes i got you bumblebee quick jerry get
me the bong
so what's your thinking here dave dude
this bee pollinated
pot plants therefore if we smoke it we
might get high
oh dude is it working i forgot i'm
allergic to bees
is that a good high i have a pretty open
mind
i'm gonna say no make sure i don't bite
my tongue
here we are tiffany a year ago today on
4
20 i sighted a hairy beast eight feet
tall with eyes like the devil
and an unholy horn on his head yes
he was the legendary and mythical
manicorn
a half-man half-beast creature said to
live at the center of the earth
hibernating only emerging for a couple
of hours each year
on 420. how do you know i'll come back
sexy todd
oh i just want to gobble you up he told
me his name
it was carl carl the manicor he said
that if i never told a soul about what
happened
he share a secret with me and tonight i
feel
that secret shall be revealed
[Music]
have you seen my cat around every night
i wake up and catch him trying to steal
my breath i thought dr freckles was dead
it turned out he was just sleeping
nice going jerry you found dr freckos oh
god
gross no that's exactly what we wanted
i've been blowing smoke in dr
freckle's face for 14 years and everyone
knows that drugs stay in your hair
ergo dr freckle's hairball will be a
potent source of stoniness
check and mate to me let me try that
yeah that's fun but it doesn't get you
high i guess dr freckles only got second
hand smoke
we on the other hand have gotten a lot
of first-hand smoke
thus it follows that our hair will work
better to get us
high yes i am a genius i'm not shaving
my head
not your head dude i can't why not cause
i already shaved it you know to make
everything look bigger for who dude for
me dave
okay i did it for me
[Music]
smoking hair is not as cool as you think
you realize that this leaves us with no
other choice
no jerry i don't like it either dave
jerry no dave yes
we have to go talk with laird boone ah
come on man i hate laird booney
i ate them so much here they are come
and get them nerdos
i can't even tell if these are the ones
we ordered it totally covered by this
warning sticker are these stickers true
that's what the invasive overreaching
liberal government says then we'll take
them all
hey guys check this out this is awesome
my big brother won't even buy me beer oh
boy i am
so boning my step-sister with this team
more where those came from
boys
[Music]
hey laird it's me dave dave's not here
man no man
i'm dave no man dave's not here damn it
this is gonna take forever
this is the most sincere turn of patch
in the world
that is why the metacorn will that's
come
holy crap carl it's that little fat kid
from last year you dump trucked we'll
say more of him
in an hour who is it again man dave
paige's not here man let me try hey
laird
it's me jerry hey jerry man come in
oh who's this guy uh dave oh dave's not
here man
sweet can we buy one of those plants and
smoke it right now please
of course but it won't get you high i
told you we shouldn't have come dude
won't it get us even a little high
not even the teeniest bit man i have
developed a perfect pot
plant ideal for a thousand uses but
absolutely incapable of getting you
stoned dude why would you even do
something so [ __ ] friend
getting high has turned the world
against this most magical plant
do you have anything that'll get us high
i might have one thing
but it'll cost you cause it's antique
man fine
my life savings but it'll be worth it
once we're smoking that sweet sweet
antique
rope it's heirloom hemp man we'll take
it we need something for 420 man
oh you can't smoke rope did you say 420
yeah 4 20. the day jester hopper pot
disappeared
jester hopper pot was my best friend
whoa
chester and i met at one of the first
acid tests in the honda california
jester produced a bong from his pouch
and i produced some weed from my pouch
and this beautiful maid produced a
lighter from her pouch
jester dreamed of developing weed that
would get you high on just one hit
he drove a psychedelic school bus called
farther
last time i saw jester he was driving
that bus into the sunset man
and it was packed with killer weed
called hiroshima
because it was so potent dude it only
took one hit that's what the italian
school man
but that's not the truth what do you
mean he did have a few hundred pounds of
hiroshima on the bus
but the real reason jester had to split
was that he stole the declaration of
independence
the declaration of independence yeah man
you know what that thing is made of
right every stoner knows that it was the
sweetest hemp the world had ever known
grown by george washington himself
jester was going to take it to a secret
stoner cave and smoke it at the end of
his favorite grateful dead song well if
he never
came back maybe he's just dead and if
he's dead maybe he left some weed
god i hope he's dead whoa man that's a
heavy thing to wish on my man jester did
he leave
anything behind like um like like a map
no no map but he did leave this that's a
map dude hey
it is a map man yeah we'll find jester
hopper pot's legendary stash
and we will call ourselves the stoneys
stonies always get high
[Music]
listen team jerry and i have discovered
the possible location of a psychedelic
school bus filled
with one hit wonder weed and the
declaration of independence
i know 420 doesn't mean as much to the
rest of you as it means to us but
i hope you'll join us in the search for
jester hopper pop is that the guy that
wants me to bong load last for eight
days and eight nights
yes i heard he married a pot plant and
smoked it at the reception correct
and if you pray to him he can help you
find stuff you misplaced when you were
stoned that's not true
but he was the first waspefarian or
white guy with dreadlocks i'll go with
you guys
even though jerry's an anti-semite come
on you got my smokes
yep then benny's your man um i have a
pedicure schedule we don't want you
anyway
i don't understand shocking you stay
here and do squash count me
in because i like exploring caves
what do you want not your sicko specials
dude we just need to find a hole in the
ground the only hole here is out back
all right people let's do it go go go
dave
this is a toilet
what this is an awesome adventure
congratulations dave you just got us all
trapped in a septic tank jerry
get the dope rope fired up it can be
used as a torch at least it's good for
something
that one
[Music]
hey man look a big cave who is this guy
again
the rubik's cube stoner's nightmare
there's some kind of algorithm for this
right oh no tear gas
look i'm already crying you're crying
because you're a [ __ ]
that's sober gas developed by the
military for breaking up hippie
demonstrations
one deep breath and you can never get
high again
unthinkable man i'm a game master now
what would i do if a game is too hard
you cheat yes mary yes everybody we
gotta change the stickers
[Applause]
[Music]
is that thing a rain stick
maybe it's a shofar no mary actually a
shofar isn't straight like that it's
usually spiral in shape and made from
the horn of an animal
it's not necessary that the shofar be
made from a kosher animal
but it's generally accepted that a cow
horn should not be used because of that
animal's association with a false god
bail fine jerry you're not an
anti-semite shalom that's a didgeridoo
man
the one note nightmare second only to
the bongos in popularity with the
burnouts can anybody play one of these i
played the tuba in my high school band
of course you did why wouldn't she my
god girl can you think of any more ways
to make yourself
if you guys don't want me to try it i'll
just back my way come on mary you can do
it come on
nothing's happening those aren't
throwing stars
they're razor edge frisbees run
killer frisbees low merry blow
use those dsls your boring skills are
working
[Laughter]
man all these tunnels look alike is up
with the bean bag that's not a bean bag
that's a rasta-colored hacky sack
not cool who cares not cool literally
hilarious
okay people let's go marijuana mary jane
green kind dope stank skunk kantika
sense pot grass bud ganja
bong low dubit gak dank troll
sniper jolly green banana viet chong
congolese crippler
warlock shortbus biofuel tom bombadil
redheaded stepchild
riddler jungle fungus cro-magnon
vancouver salad
topanga brain gank short-term water
bottleness brush fire ged test prep
polynesian pink guy incredible take it
getting there
manchurian candy hobo harvest mojave dry
mouth
solvent heston chin strap cambodian ball
gag
and arabian crime because it gets you so
stoned we did it
jester hopper pot psychedelic school bus
inside the world's sweetest stash
the sweetest stash the world has ever
known oh hey man it's
jester oh he looks weird exactly jester
hopper i was going to listen to his
favorite grateful dead song
and smoke the declaration of
independence at the
end of it grateful dead in their endless
jams
actually it looks like he had it on
repeat we hold this truth to be
self-evident
that we are stoners and we are about to
get extremely high
stonies always get high wait a minute
laird boonie's here that means our
adventure really happened yep
you came over to my place we got high
and rope came here to watch your copy of
the goonies
what a wonderful adventure that's not an
adventure that's a regular
day in sunnyvale you are now forbidden
to place warning labels on any kind of
your satanic games but the kiddos love
them
how am i supposed to sell games that
don't promise to get you high and late
not my problem i have to go buy
expensive dresses and think of what i
can say
that will end drug use forever no
that's an excellent idea young man
just say no no you're right
it's perfect what the hell is going on
this is not what 420 is about
isn't there anybody that knows what 420
is about
sure dave i can tell you what 420 is
all about not some stupid myth man
but the real legend lights please
and there were four stoners at san
rafael high school man
and lo they'd meet after school to smoke
weed at the louie pastor
statue man they weren't afraid of that
the vice principal man
behold the weed brought tithing is a
great stoniness man
and on earth there was peace among men
and that's what 420 is all about dave
i mean this is dialectical man what are
you gonna do
uh this is a whole numbers you can't
drink a quarter of an eggnog
why don't you get a haircut
happy 420 everybody
the mana cord will be here tiffany
that's what you've been saying
for hours patience my dear please don't
shoot my dear me i'm leaving no matter
how sexy you are all right
get out of here the great manacorn
filled me full of your ancient secrets
jake
go get my tire iron axle grease and some
earplugs you mind if i grab a photo to
let people know you exist
absolutely now we will see who the fool
is it was the sweetest hint the world
had
ever known