oh
fuzzy secret hearts
[Music]
three new games all shipping tomorrow
this is completely insane
i mean i'm all for overachieving of
course but we're gonna be up
all night is this too much ew pull your
pants up freak show
[Music]
well todd finally passed out he looks
fatter in his sleep
mother please kiss me on the lips
i've got to put a stop to this before we
hear the phrase mother suck it
right back no that's just wrong it's not
my fault i had a 64-ounce big sip
my bladder was compromised during the
fall i'll help
benny's been kidnapped by ninjas
[Music]
somebody let a cat loose in here never
mind benny and i were just
out for a father-son type drive it was
real
dreamy live oh
mister it seemed like the sandwich you
gave me a stuffed with gold coins
damn straight and there's a lot more
where that came from
if you keep your mouth shut about that
[ __ ] who jumped in my trunk already
dead
boys are crazy you taught me that
honorable father well you are a good
student
and then all of a sudden these crazy
ninjas jumped out like in them [ __ ]
movies
what's happening he's been attacked by
black people no wait
they're ninjas i'd like to see you dodge
hot steel ninja
oh mr already helped me
so that's when i yes jerry why are you
holding a flashlight in front of your
face when all the lights are on
jerry my granddaddy told me something
i'll never forget he said if you want to
win a war you gots to always keep
guessing
and we're at war you're damn right a war
with protendo
they the ones behind all this how do you
know that instinct boy
now back to the store some of them need
to stay behind to finish me off
man they move like grease sliding on the
pit
and for only the ninth time in my life i
was completely powerless
and i lost spinny
and that's why we're going to japan to
rescue him
and yes black steve hale just froze over
i'm gonna pay overtime
hell yeah yes boobies what don't you
think it's possible this could be a trap
i mean takeda matsui is the head of
protendo
and and you killed his brother when was
that it was seven weeks ago
they broke the onesie efficiency
oh my god i could have sworn that guy's
name was willie
but what's your point my point is maybe
he wants to
kill you or all of us look it don't
matter if it's a trap
people you don't come into big t's house
on christmas morning and take
on my lap ben is one of us and god only
knows what tortures he's already
undergone at the hands of them merciless
yelling
the food is it satisfactory it's not bad
i'm still waiting for my pixie stix
though sorry man
what did i tell you now stop dishonoring
me and
find pixie stix for our honored guest
it won't be long before larity comes
searching for you
my little malaysian hostage i'm korean
fool
i'm out of here very sorry benny but you
will not be going anywhere
i think i can hang with you people you
got cable in this place or what
since you all are gonna have to be my
strike force i'm gonna sign each of you
a role
fatty i know these guys are gonna have
some crazy security systems
and i need your crazy computer brains to
beat it by the power of grayskull
god this is heavy ah my back jerry
i need your ironman personality to help
sue these japanese
they love geeks over there so you should
be bigger than eddie murphy selling gold
chains
oh okay black steve i have no idea what
i'm gonna do with you so you're not
coming fine
[ __ ] i didn't want no part of this
half-assed con job know-how
it says here i really wanted to go to
japan
says right here on your resume that
you're a master of the japanese language
see whoa color me impressed tango ombre
agua and last but certainly not least
ladies apparently you have vaginas and
we'll trade them like currency on the
high seas
so no balling when you take that trip to
torture town cool
torture town what come on mary free
trip you really are stupid mr larady i
will not no more talking
now pack your things and meet me at
pierce 69 in 20 minutes
fate of the world depends on it
[Music]
amazing you have tested all these games
that's what i think of your stupid game
and that's what i think of you sucky
sucky game
your game isn't even worthy of being
farted on
it's the worst game i ever seen but i
going to make your deal
no go i kept my eye on you [ __ ] i begin
to see why larity
cares for you so much you are number one
game tester
you direct efficient training
i know our relationship began as hostage
taker to hostage
perhaps when this is over you can come
work for protendo
you got a cigarette
whose vagina do you think will go for
more mary mine
or yours i could care less claire
where is larity he's not coming dude he
smelled of whiskey and [ __ ]
just like your dad did the night he told
us the super bowl was fixed shut up
welcome aboard the ss dollar jet ski
it's a little prize i stole from them
rooskies during the late unpleasantness
in vietnam now get on in everybody
[Music]
oh yeah clarence insisted on coming too
i always insist
on coming thank you that's disgusting
what the [ __ ]
it's harrison ford oh right i'm also
bringing harrison ford along
he's a master of these types of
adventures and uh also he's great at
finding things that are lost
like arcs and stuff the last time that
is the character i play
indiana jones and he found treasures not
some ancient [ __ ] with a two-pack a
day habit damn you harrison ford benny
is a treasure you son of a [ __ ]
wow larry's got more backhand than john
mcenroe shut it
runt make me blade runner laugh it up
furball
han solo cut me awesome jerry take a
picture okay people enough playing grab
ass
put the lipstick on the pig let's take
you to the rodeo come on
why can't i go to japan i'm the one who
speaks mother
japanese hey i got lost on the way to
work again this morning
yo where is everybody oh no you killed
him
look look i i won't say anything i can
help get rid of the bodies
we're gonna need a hole and some
gasoline just don't kill me black steve
please bro
no they're all in japan rescuing benny
all them except me oh dude i want to go
to japan
i love reggae music except for the fact
it has the word gay in it hey fool
reggae music is from jamaica i had to
shoot this
out you right now wait you still got
that company credit card
we glide through the deep like a silent
assassin
whoa lesbian mermaid starboard bow
[Music]
[Applause]
oh man was about to go downtown right
and then the other one like she had her
hand on the boob and then there
[Music]
that old salty bastard low torpedo tubes
comrades does somebody want to do
something about that we're being smacked
it's the rules the russians no the
russkies man you don't listen to your
working girl yeah
i owe about a billion dollars and
they're being total deal holes about
clarity you son of a [ __ ] time to feel
the wrath of mother russia
[Music]
you're going down faster than your mama
had a sucking contest
over you're going down faster than your
dad did on our first date
over what the hell does that mean junior
is that you this is it isn't it dave
we're gonna die here right
not if years of useless video game
playing has anything to do about it
it's time to pull the old asses and
elbows
[Music]
last the day is theirs
uh what are you doing mr larry just to
scuttle the ship
son leave no trace won't we need it to
get back
always leave him guess always leave him
guessing
mr larady stop no dave and harrison ford
are still on board
luca oh man suck it up people no use
crying
dave and harrison ford are dead hems of
wages of war
that wasn't war you killed them did i
jerry
did it really or was it protendo that
killed no
it wasn't it was you are you sure about
that yes i
am huh yeah well
let's go to tokyo everybody come on
dude we were so lucky that sub had an
escape capsule nice job managing to
fart it up for the 10 seconds we were in
there yeah you're welcome it's time for
us to go our separate ways runt
you're dead weight harrison ford waits
for no man
indiana jones my ass where the hell am i
maybe
in hell who are you dude yo gets it
first
ever programmer of video game in japan
and you are dave from a gamma vision how
do you know that am i dead oh am i high
no
no come with me
[Music]
now you are high
[Laughter]
evie don't bore got that sweet
nice dagobong but i still don't know how
you knew my name gamer magazines
big fan of big ass dolphin i
am level 23 i reached
no no
master no no not a
badass i know why you are here
too to stage a rescue mission at
protendo i for my employer
i create first ever game for them
hard wow but when crappy american
knockoff do better
they fire me my knees say break many
times
those bastards no respect for art yes
we're gonna go take revenge of them
anyway you can come not so
easy first you must train
or you will die
train it's just a video game company
hard could be to storm in there
they are near now benny my spies have
found them
so you'll need to stay here for our time
for your safe keeping
oh you're right i heard that before hey
bruce lee this thing ain't going to
light itself let's go
move it chuck activate
[Music]
pink floyd i got a million of them
revenge scores where could they be
[Applause]
they're all yours fellas what the hell
no excuse me
but just out of curiosity was there any
variation in the pricing between my huha
and hers ow ow i bruise easily
does this mean i can be a geisha as
always pleasure doing business with you
fine gentlemen
let me know if there's anything else
you'd be interested in getting into i
can think of something he can do for me
what are you gonna do with all the guns
mr larity i'll shoot him but we already
had a bunch of guns and don't you think
that with dave dead we might have wanted
the extra people to help us out
you just sold mary and dave is dead
does no one care about me calm down
jerry yeah you're acting really
good did you just pee yourself yes
damn it you think i'd be used to having
people pull guns on me by now
[Music]
yeah jump down
to the left
you move like a gay old lady
[Music]
i'm ready let's do this no not yet
complete your training we'll have to
make do because dave has got a taste for
revenge
[Music]
hello sweetie my name's larry i should
have an appointment i think oh yes
mr larity it looks here as if you do
have appointment
69th floor please elevator that way well
they seem rather nice
so polite what the hell always keeping
guessing jerry
you told him we were here does it bother
anyone else that dave is dead
ah get over it am i the only one who
thinks it might have been better to uh
have an element of surprise you know
what you're right fatty
surprise you're walking the rest of the
way get going stairs
just allowed him sorry anything with
that
i'm too fat to walk you are a cruel
do you realize that you've eliminated a
third of our manpower
keep them guessing jerry keep them
guessing yeah
you've mentioned that
damn it laser grid gary i need you to go
back down and find the main electric
cable to the building
so i don't catch a laser to my keister
where are you gonna go
through the one door i got i'm sorry you
don't get to die with honor today son
it's cool bye all right big t you
wouldn't three-time texas all-state
linebacker for nothing we don't let it
do what it did
[Music]
what the hell you must be looking for me
mr lamity
and here i am but which one
is the real me
son of a [ __ ] how about that for a
lucky shot
i mean attack
me sideways and call me an okie you're
all actually ninjas ain't you
i knew it always with the golf down
ninja
[Music]
minnie not so fast mr larity
you've now stepped into my office i got
to hand it to you take care
this is one huge office you got
yes i used to share it with my brother
[Music]
i hope you're a fan of getting your ass
handed to you actually i am not
well too bad because your ass will
indeed be handed to you
that sounded awkward i'm sorry
hey look who showed up clarence and gay
yakuza rescued us
no thanks to you i could give two shakes
of a pole cat's ass
to cut them wide
minnie come here boy you got my smoke
speciality no
bitty i got your favorite pixie stix
candy apple buddy oh that's sweet isn't
it parent child reunion i thought i got
here sooner
but then i fell down the stairs because
i had like three mini heart attacks
but i am fine now except
parched is not a word that describes how
thirsty i am
i would kill for a juice box very well
you fought again but this time i
won't be destroyed alone
[Music]
come on bro what in the hell
thanks boy what died on your face you
got lost
i went to hawaii they make you grow
mustaches there
kurai ain't ninjas
[Music]
how's that brownie man not great hey
dave
i'm really glad you're not dead man yeah
me too i dropped a double deuce in the
brownie bowl yeah oh
dave these are good
yeah you would like that all right
people i know it's been a hard week
some of us got kidnapped and while
others of us got sold to yakazu
ass sex slaves and had to be rescued by
a couple queers
well and a bunch of us almost died
harrison ford was killed by a giant rock
it was awesome yes thank you dave but
the important thing is that we pulled
together as a team
and brought back benny to where he
rightfully belongs locked in his brand
new cage for his own safety of course
so he can test our video game here
and now i think it's time for us to take
this company to the next level
[Music]
what is this please ain't nothing up
here but some gobbledygoo
and some words down there on the bot hey
let's get back downstairs everybody come
on forget we ever saw this