oh
[Music]
fuzzy secret hearts
[Music]
okay we're almost ready for vegas demo
of white karate master
check box of condoms check info sheets
with the game specs
check extra large tuba lube double check
dave i'm trying to pack
trust me jerry we're going to need the
lube well at least i will what am i
forgetting i've got my lucky rabbit's
foot my good
suit why are you bringing a suit we're
going to the video game convention not
your mom's funeral that was last week
dave too soon man okay i'm sorry captain
bummer we're up for a gamey the most
prestigious award in the video game
world i want to look nice when floating
space rocks the revenge wins for most
innovative games yeah we're nominated
but so is protendo's smurfs in space
the committee clearly has no standards
well i want to be ready for when we win
and i would like to be ready to bang
some depressed strippers
it's so sexy when they cry dude
all right ladies let's get a move on we
got to get to the airfield don't you
mean
airport hell no i can't fly commercial
not if i want to bring along these
babies them airline [ __ ] don't let
you bring anything
fun aboard yeah now let's get it dude
i'll get the bag
thanks man
private plane rocks dad this thing is
hot the bathroom
has a bidet get comfortable people we
will be in las vegas before you know um
where's the pilot i'm the pilot you know
my motto
never pay some well-trained jackass to
do a job you can do yourself
yeah i think i'm just gonna drive to
vegas sit down girly
we take off as soon as everybody gets
here but sir
everyone's on board already quiet
everybody jerry
now that we're all here strap on your
baby makers kids
here we go on viva las vegas
grassy ass yeah what did i say about
shooting inside the plane and put your
gaster
seat belts on
uh i envy you senor to be from the home
of nacho cheese
what is this guy talking about nacho
cheese
my old mistress the elixir of life
healed sword muscles
here's athlete's foot curbs acne and
even
on most occasions there's a wonderful
personal lubricant
did you know that ponce de leon's
mythical fountain of youth
was not mythical and was actually a
bubbling hot geyser of nacho cheese i
can't take this vamanos muchachos
now we're being attacked here comes
planes i'm gonna dodge them and shoot
them down from behind
[Applause]
[Music]
hey look there's las vegas
whoa a limo i bet somebody famous is
inside
hey there little man damn it i got
excited for nothing this guy's a nobody
man that kid totally burned you
great this trip is off to an awesome
start this is it people
the old las vegas video game and
computer convention
yo lvvgc drink it in well now that i've
arrived we can officially
say that we have all of the greats under
one roof
you know if a bomb exploded in here
would wipe out the entire game industry
as we know
and most of the world's nerds check it
out reeve jobs is here think you can
dunk reef jobs
if your lame throw somehow manages to
dunk me you win an apple cpa
hey what's a c pod it's a computerized
portable music player that carries 50
cassettes
oh cool ah it's gonna be
huge i can't feel my legs wow sucks to
be him
whoa look at even kansas instruments has
a booth here this little beauty is the
first game system powered by
corn playing games about corn and
educating today's youth about
corn this here is our first release
cornucopia
damn you're white
cause we take your regular tv yo that's
just a regular tv and we attach a
keyboard to it
well here we are home sweet game of
vision booth
we're gonna live in this booth for the
next three days well more specifically
y'all gonna live in the booth for the
next three days will i go gamble away
dean's unused college fund teacher said
i don't need no more school
okay dave jerry you got first [ __ ] no
now you're representing game of vision
as a company
so act accordingly hey honey are those
things real i'm gonna have to jiggle
them to make sure
creep where's your manners missy anyhow
if you're not on booth duty
you're free to explore the convention i
must be going i'm off
there's a sci-fi mixer in hall b and i
want to get there before all the
good-looking elves are taken
hear thee well losers wow i don't know
whether to laugh or cry
let's get out of here hold on girls i
got a special lady job for you two
i hear the words happy ending so help me
i'm gonna follow yourself missy
i need you two to look after benny for
me benny
but he's not here i packed him here last
night with this bag of sugar
sugar bag my bestest and only friend
just feed him when you remember two and
i'm sure he'll make you just fine
out stop it mary help hey uh check out
the knockers on her
knockers where i don't see any now well
played ladies
come on benny tonight you're rolling
with the big dog i like
sugar yes you already said that benny
thank you what have i done to deserve
the first shift why does god hate me
dude
calm down i signed us up for the first
shift so we could just get it out of the
way but i'm bored
it's been two minutes dave hi folks how
you doing today
we here at game division have an
exciting array of games to show you
board board board board
all righty then we'll see you later dave
stop it but i'm bored
bored bored
oh the sci-fi mixer my favorite part of
the game convention
i'm finally home well hello my cyborg
siren i bet you say that to all the bots
clever too you know i find robot culture
fascinating
is that so why don't you let me feed you
after midnight and get you
wet oh no that would be unwise from
uggwies
are delicate creatures i sleep
yes i would like that very much
[Music]
oh this booth is sucking my will to live
only have two more hours dave why mr
wozniak
hey guys good to see you boys how's game
of vision lame since you left dude come
on it's probably even better than when i
was there
white karate master genius keep up the
good work
see you at the gameys wait please take
me with you
dave let go i can't control
sorry wise it's cool that was an awesome
ride
that is it it is time to go dave no way
the judges for the games could be here
any minute
i want to make a good impression this is
important well we have an important
appointment in the desert
you are going to love this guy trust me
no dave no no but
you know your receptacle may be man-made
but your charms
were made in heaven now beep for me
robot
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep but okay ben
just naturally here we're gonna what's
the password mass vagina
i'm mr larity so nice to see you again
and you brought a friend well this is
benny he's my good luck charm
ain't that right hi there i understand
you'll be my competition tonight
my name is gil bates and i'm an
entrepreneur trying to win startup money
for my new computer company can i bet
using my own stock who the hell let this
punk in here he paid
the fee the buy-in as always is fifty
thousand dollars put me in for twice
that
whoo and do me a favor i want an icy
cold bear and
i want to see the harlem globetrotters
fight alive as you wish that
charlie look out
my friend said that if you're in vegas
you have to go to this club
she said the men are all really good
dancers as long as there's booze
i'm in oh i think this is it holy wow
they are good dancers mary can i borrow
a hundred dollars
in ones
[Music]
[Applause]
my robotic love i hope you'll store this
experience in your memory card
i know i shall on the bottom of my heart
i say to you
forever not so fast romeo what's that my
sweet you owe me a thousand dollars
[ __ ]
but i love you love what kind of weirdo
falls in love with the hooker
a hooker i should have seen the signs
willingness to talk to me being the
first one
and then there is the fact you actually
did let me plug my
phone line into your modem you ignored
my farting throughout the coitus
ah it's all there well i'm afraid i
don't have a thousand dollars in my
costume
how about two tickets to the hottest
show in town
the gameys what the game only the most
important video game award show of the
year
and i will also throw in a mid-show
snack packs that crack
you and ugly gonna have a talk dave
who the hell meets in the middle of a
desert oh you'll see are you dave
depends on who's asking
are you snowball yep and i'm dave we
should really get back to the booth dave
jerry snowball here is one of the
biggest dealers in illegal fireworks
he's got some serious firepower in that
van dude it's gonna happen and it's
gonna happen today i do all right
why do you have a hook for a hand dude
don't listen to him he's menstruating
show me what you got
these beauties are left over from the
bicentennial celebration a few years
back
yes wow dave
aren't old fireworks incredibly unstable
wait all of a sudden you're like a
fireworks expert dave i'm just saying
snowball is missing body parts dude this
is my call do you mind if we have a
little taste be my guest
gross you just blew up that salamander
chill out jerry animals
don't have feelings it's been proven by
science here you go i'll take
all of them hey i was never here hey
here's a crazy idea why don't we forget
all about these little fireworks and get
back to the booth dave
the judges are going to be there any
minute dude for the last time the booth
will be fine what could possibly happen
rules game of visions
can't wait to meet this jerry fella nor
can i
oh no this does not reflect well on
gamer vision not one bit
[Music]
you're just lucky you didn't lose an eye
like snowball listen nobody could have
predicted those fireworks would have
been so unstable oh my gosh
i know that is the last time i buy
fireworks from a hook-handed dude oh
no no dave the booth who did this
all of our games all of our
demonstrations
all gone probably bellico vision oh well
win some lose some right
what wait here's a note from the gamey
judges hopefully you will have the
decency to show up for the award banquet
but we're not holding our breath we're
going to lose
and it's all your fault listen i think
there's enough blame here to go around
for everybody i'll kill you
i will kill you you're going down
see clarence there's the target shoot
for the head of the heart
whatever speaks to you thanks for
bringing me
along you okay buddy
now that you're here what did you just
say
back off man
mr rupex please take a sit on this fine
corinde never and meet the other players
this is the sheik that is mr takashi
we have the duke brothers randolph and
mortimer
that's account dracula mr larity is from
game a vision oh hello guys hello
everyone and tonight big winner so far
mr gilbert beginner's luck i guess can i
get you a gentleman anything
i'll take a soda that sounds good give
me one of those oh and uh
a tie hooker uh as you wish son
now where were we sure nerdo
okay mr larity i see your million
dollars and i'll raise you the shroud of
turin
i'd like to win that shroud but i got no
assets left set my company
luckily i always carry this with me yeah
i bet gamer vision you think that's a
good idea boss quiet benny you're just
here to look pretty i think he has
killer hands such a kimchi
hole and watch a real man play now what
you got
i got three twos that homemade and a
blue uno reverse
dang it neat i own my game company
i have got to go to the games but i
promise you i will come back
right after and as a sign of good faith
and for collateral
i will leave you my lucky 20-sided die
you're not going
anywhere i see well perhaps i could work
off my debt through
menial labor i'm a trained food taster
and
a crack television channel changer shut
up cracker i could give you my 312
distinct recipes for nacho cheese
that is easily a 10 000 value which
means that you would owe me nine
thousand that's what we're gonna do
lard ass give me a woman for my staple
of [ __ ]
oh you're dead i don't know where i'm
gonna find a [ __ ] at this late hour
but i'll tell you what i'm available to
turn tricks
i said get ugly a woman wait a minute i
thought i was supposed to get a woman
for you that's what i said ah i
recognize the problem here you see when
you speak in the third person it is
very confusing to the listener that's a
nice skit
me uh mama you hear me skinny
what the hell happened here and where's
larity
the gameys are about to start uh who
cares
we're not gonna win now dave ruined
everything jerry's pretty down
what do you say you raise his spirits
with a hand ew whoa hey
i didn't say it dave did you're such a
jerk dude hey you wouldn't be saying
that if she's giving you the handy don't
talk to me
what happened arp oh well i guess it's
your problem now bates
what's his problem you can take that one
that's the sweet ass consider your dead
ugly blade it was a pleasure doing
business with you
come on girl you're working for ugly now
[Music]
somebody do something ah she'll be fine
ugly is tough but fair people i don't
know how to tell you this
but i lost the company at a high stakes
poker game
well actually that was kind of easy do i
have a new dad
what are we gonna do this here's your
new boss gilbert what
hi guys i'm real excited to own game of
vision
everyone is going to be a stockholder in
my new company is it class a
or class b stock if they're not voting
shares
they ain't worth i don't want stock i
want money what i lost a grand at
roulette
ladies and gentlemen please take your
seats
for the game it's starting
come on team
[Music]
good luck dude dave just shut up and the
gamey
for most innovative video game goes
to gamer vision for floating space rocks
the revenge i did it i did it
congratulations
get me out of here wow thank you bea
arthur
i don't know what to say this is all
happening so fast
wait what's happening we worked really
hard on this game and for that i want to
thank
everyone at game of vision mr barretty
white steve
tom mary claire and most importantly
dave and terry
good work dave and terry is my moment
and he's stealing it hey
nobody calls me white steve and gets
away with it
those employees can be a handful of cat
to give i wanted everyone to be a part
of my vision for the future of home
computing
instead i got shot i'm selling off this
stupid company before i regret it
anymore what will happen to benny if
company is sold
don't worry dude someone will keep you
until you're not cute anymore don't
worry larry
jill beach is a loser with dumb computer
idea i bet he's not even able to bet a
child at poker push up there benny what
did he say
hey dummy open your ears i said i bet
you couldn't beat stupid little me
at poker i could so beat you could not
could so
prove it if i beat you i get company and
if i win you have to come with me to
seattle and tell everyone how cool i am
i agree okey doke
let's play as you wish
give me two card two cards okay kid i'm
losing a lot of blood i've got
three nines oh no kill baits and travel
now
i better pack my bags for seattle all i
have is
these cards with heart i'm not the loser
you royal flash game of isn't that many
[Applause]
ruin once again so what i'm not a loser
and with the money i get sue and the guy
who shot me
i'll have more than enough to start my
own company whoa stop it right there
bates you'll be a terrible business
person let me give you a little piece of
advice my friend
take all that money and go buy yourself
a teenage ukrainian bride
they're cheap and sexy shut up with your
stupid advice oh
gilbert your pride was your undoing
benny that was amazing
amazing i had cheap cards up my sleeve
that's high roll did you see that
a child just cheated at carts to save
the company
you should be ashamed of yourselves now
give me back my model no way jose
i own game of vision now i gave you five
bags of sugar for it
six six-pack deal you stupid round eye
i feel sorry for that bates guy beaten
by a child and that computer thing is
is really not gonna take off unlike the
home arcade industry that i've been
telling everybody about
i didn't get to give my victory speech
see this is the disappointment i was
trying to save you from
i just wanted to win so bad that's your
problem jerry
you care too much you need to let go and
stop caring and life will be way easier
look at me i don't care about anything
and my life kicks ass
maybe you're right thanks dave don't
mention it
what the hell are you doing just passing
the time
man there's some nasty ass hookers out
here you weren't lying
hey that one looks familiar hey slow
down what the hell
hey baby i put the ass in class do you
want a date for
oh hey guys it's 200 for the first hour
and 300 for each additional hour wow
turning tricks is good business
hey sweetheart don't waste your time
with that one i'm grade 8
prime beef you're safe now claire you
don't have to sell your body to the
night actually
it's not that bad ugly gave me this fur
coat real fur rabbit
and he told me i was pretty and if i'm
lucky he's gonna pay for me to get a
perm so he's a pimp and a liar driver to
the airfield
sorry sir but there's a man in front of
the limo it's the pimp give me back my
girl you all dead meat
and i'm looking to make a sandwich see
what i just did there
it's official i am never coming back to
vegas leave ugly to me i have something
in my pants left over for this very
purpose that sounded really bad but
trust me
here you go pal this should cover it
happy bicentennial what the
hey well god bless america
ah hey
i don't know where i'm gonna find a
[ __ ] at this late hour next week
a code monkeys marathon every episode
back to back
with a season finale climax lesbian
mermaid starboard valve
you won't believe there's no escaping
would you just be yourself the code
monkeys marathon next wednesday at three
and the season finale at nine
only on g4