oh
[Music]
hey man dude jerry jerry
ah what the hell why would you do that
as you inhale
red and exhale blue
the rhythm of your breath oh what the
gay are you listening to
dave it's a relaxation tape you a-hole
no offense dude but i don't think it's
working anyway you can't relax now we
have got a workplace
emergency
[Applause]
[Music]
so what's this alleged workplace
emergency day rarity he's only approving
really crappy games what else is new
yeah but it's gotten worse ever since he
actually sold that idiotic snack man
game i bear your insults
in dignified silence you know larry
doesn't actually care about games only
money
and crappy games make money yeah it's
like in his head there's a cartoon of
money and it's screwing other money on a
big
money bed and they're making adorable
money children hmm i'd actually like to
see that if money had big ass boobs
that game would be awesome dave what's
your point my point is he needs a
wake-up call we need to get him to
approve a game
so horrible that it'll make him lose his
fortune
a game like what
you wouldn't oh wouldn't i wouldn't what
dave what are you gonna do relax pretend
you're the ocean
there's no way he's approving that game
bet he will and if he does you have to
go out with jerry fine
but if he doesn't you have to shave
larry's back for the next month
[Music]
so as you can see little susie sweet
cakes
collects the cakes then throws them up
when she loses enough weight she gets a
new bikini
and that's how you win the level i'd
like the record to show that the company
who designed the little susie sweetcake
stalls
is a cesspool of disgusting male
chauvinism
is not a man done yet i hate my life hey
thanks mary
i am so proud to show you guys my latest
creation i really think you're gonna dig
it and dig it deep
oh that's horrible make it stop wow
i just threw up in my mouth nachos
the cheese is the exact same consistency
as when it went down
even i'm offended and i just spent all
weekend watching three men
see the point of the game is that you
are hitler and what you're doing i see
the point
what in the hell son do you think you're
doing oh man
dave you're gonna make the rest of these
cow turds look like
doggy turds if you keep pitching these
brilliant ideas
i'm sorry i was high weight hitler child
slavery chili dog
it's got everything i like except for a
comically large check with my name on it
and of course a normal-sized check with
your name well thank you sire for your
support
thank you dave anybody else want to try
to top that
yes new guy take your best shot hi uh my
name is lauren
lanning it's my first day here but get
to the mother point all right
so uh my game it's about this place
called odd world and we follow abe
and there's all sorts of these great
characters slash creatures like
you know mudokins and gabbats elons and
meeches
dean sizzle him dump his body back in
the old wishing well
with mrs larity number seven as soon as
you're done report directly to dave
you're gonna be his personal slave till
his game's done
that work for you david yeah i think i
can find something for dean to do
dean you are my [ __ ]
so in this sequence hitler confronts his
arch enemy an adorable kitten and beats
the crap out of it ready dean
action and scene show me it yeah yeah
you hate that kitten don't you hitler oh
i hate you
i hate you kitten looking good in here
fellas looking great mr larry i hate you
i hate you so much all right dean take a
break
inhale red exhale blue inhale red you
went to really honest place there dean
and i thank you for your honesty as the
director of this video game
hey now run across the street and get me
an orange julius whatever you say
chief how long are you planning to let
this go on dave just remember man
it's all for the greater good once
celerity loses his shirt on this game
he'll realize the error of his ways and
he'll start taking a closer look at our
real works of art
like space unicycles and lunch lady
zombies
i love those lunch ladies man well
larry's been pulling marketing dollars
from other projects left and right
sinking them all into this heinous
hitler game
he's even selling everything in the
break room it hurts
my soul well there's nothing we can do
about it
until of course i unveil valley of the
merman 3
and show him what a real hit game looks
like so what's the real hit game you're
going to show him after you unveil
valley of the merman 3. god refuses to
dignify that with
a response you may all think this is a
laughing matter but i
don't especially in that one sequence
where he takes all those innocent little
kittens and
puts them in i know i just think we
should be making games about
things people love like spaghetti
and unicorns
well then cash out dean's trust come on
i need to get them hitler t-shirts made
pronto
dean can always turn tricks to survive
just like his mammy did
sir well well well if it isn't the other
one with the boobies
what can i do for you today missy sir i
feel kind of weird
bringing this up but say no more let me
get a good look at you grow
let me see here uh yeah sturdy hips uh
not much in the old face department and
the calves are a little thick for my
taste
yeah don't get me wrong sweet cakes
auditions for mississippi number nine
are definitely ongoing i just don't
think you're ready for the rodeo
sir now if you lay off the pot pies and
buy a bottle of peroxide
and maybe get yourself some new melons
we might be in business whoa
and put on some weight and then lose it
real fast i love stretch marks something
fair
sir that's not why i'm here
you can't release that hitler game not
just because it's hitler but because
it's wrong to encourage kids
to shoot harmless creature
this little philly's got a sense of
humor but jokes don't fill out a bikini
top
and neither do you you know what i'm
saying oh come back and see me in 20
pounds sweetie
what about hitler wait hey don't you
think people will be offended
no no no that's old news he's nostalgic
now like sinatra
or what's his name uh buddha people love
nostalgia when i'm done every kid in
america is gonna have themselves a
plushie hitler doll
now get getting skinny yeah oh hey there
what's up hey what's up all right man
what's up don't stare at the guns too
hard honey
you might pull an eyeball muscle you
bastard
uh i need two orange julius's
and one pineapple julius hey hey how
dare you
come on bro don't walk away from me
excuse please sorry bro i don't need an
invisible dog fence or a massage chair
today
you like to hit like what no i work for
game of vision
it's a company my dad owns he's gonna
give it to me when he dies you know
anyway we're doing a game about hitler
and i'm just modeling for it
because i'm a male model ah you're
making a video game
about hitler yeah you play as hitler and
you gotta do all the
stuff like first you walk out
and then you uh you do this other thing
uh where
you are certain he said gamer vision yes
very well
we will take it from here and fritz keep
pushing those miniature bonsai sets
our relationship with the japanese is
soon to become
how do you say increasingly important
though we have a problem not for long
what the hell pain you idiot i got half
a mind to fire you right now
dude what's up dad don't you dad me you
mo ron
those two crouch you met at the mall
rather this out to the hitler family
they're issuing an injunction to stop
the release of the game
sorry dad sorry ain't gonna cut it dean
sizzle yourself
wait there's still hitler's out there
you bet your sweet asser is jerry the
hitler family's cornered the market on
executive toys and gifts you know space
pens and neck pillows and inspirational
posters and such
it's all part of a long-term plan to
reduce america's economic power
and take revenge for the house whooping
my daddy gave him in ww2
but i didn't leverage everything i owned
plus most of the stuff you guys own
to let them drive me out of this
business like they drove me out of my
novelty business by selling all this
wonderful hitler dice
i'm gonna build me one of the biggest
hitler themed empire since
uh hitler exactly but without that game
at the
center this whole thing collapses and so
does this company
so we gots to tread lightly fellas
i'm gonna go do something now to show
them we mean no harm to dice fury oh man
he's gonna kill us and sacrifices that
is no bueno i got it we'll all go down
the coast to hitler castle maybe a
little sweet talk can solve this problem
before people have to start dying
pack your bags everybody we going to
hitler castle
[Music]
sir as a half jew i just can't spend
four days kissing up to the hitler fan
all right jerry i understand since
you're only half a jew you'll just come
for the first
two days let's go but sir look boy it's
important that every member of our staff
show their support
they already got the guest list so
they'll know if anybody's missing
and trust me these people are very good
at keeping records i don't know if i can
do this man
dude just use your relaxation tapes i
tried that but for some reason they just
keep making me more angry look man think
of it this way
you probably don't want to be judged for
the things your great-grandfather did
right well
my great-grandfather was a dentist see
exactly my point
dentist sweet jerry we're getting laid
get it we're getting laid in hitler town
this is awesome maybe these hitlers
aren't that bad after all
he's very talented mr lility yeah you're
right whitey
this little is really good at testing
games and sneaking around and
what now i guess playing organs who knew
get more snack cakes now we've prepared
a little presentation
on our foundation so that you can come
to understand us
a little better you don't mind do you of
course not
then let us retire to the inner chamber
everybody smile
let's just appease these nazis and
they'll give us what we want
[Music]
welcome to the hitler memorial private
screening room
when you hear the name hitler you
probably don't think of direct marketing
of high quality consumer goods
the world's largest producer of
inspirational literature or a foundation
that helps children around the world to
get in touch with their inner ballerina
but today hitler industries is all these
things and much more
as you'll learn over the next four and a
half hours four and a half hours really
hitler industries is on the march
occupying over
350 offices around the world from poland
to norway to belgium to france and with
plans to open a russian front jerry
do you think gunther matilda are brother
and sister or are they just doing it
or both oh gross this is gay
i'm out of here it's locked
i wish i was gay that let's roll 95
of all relaxation tapes come from hitler
industries
not only do they help people lead better
lives but we insert subliminal messages
of healing to help
change the way people think about hitler
i've been listening to subliminal nazi
messages
oh god that explains so much oh man i am
so glad we busted out of there hey
what's that probably a safe full of nazi
go yo
we're gonna be rich hell yeah now if i
was hitler
what would be my code
now that you understand a little bit
more
about our vision for the hitler name in
the 21st century
i'm sure you'll understand why we cannot
possibly
allow you to proceed with your own video
game does this
shirt make me look fat no vision makes
you look fat
todd however we have our own proposal
that we think you'll quite like we've
developed our
own video game which is called everyone
is a person as you can see
this game will convey a positive message
that everyone is a person even
their fearer we shall now sign the deal
yes
holy is that what i think it is it's
hitler frozen and carbonite
i knew it dude what should we do let's
smoke this guy like a two dollar cigar
no dude let's unfreeze him then we can
make him pay for all the
stuff he did to people cool ah
well yeah certainly ah sure i'll you
want me to sign the deal i get it okay
uh well let me think uh that game sucks
whoa what's
up i'm sorry it's true and dave's game
even if it was a joke
is kind of awesome jerry's sort of right
what's not awesome is people who can't
take a joke
your great-grandfather was hitler that
must be tough to live down
but you can't expect people not to make
video games about him ass blasting
animals because most people think he was
a real twisted bastard
and also the devil on earth if you're
going to sue us then you're going to sue
us
but mr lairdy isn't going to compromise
his vision of giant piles of money
just to spare your feelings i gotta say
it the half jew is right
that game just ain't gonna work for us
fellas so thanks for the dinner in the
movie sweetie but we should probably get
to getting
you're not going anywhere
evil bears these hitler's thought
everything
it's an ambush run
[Music]
don't worry buddy i'll warm you up
oh there you go feels so good and warm
smells like
[Music]
okay they may catch one of us but not
all of them hey
guys it's me remember lauren hey i got
out of that pit
and i tracked you all down through the
i'm gonna meet my dad
while the bear eats lord pair up in
threes and ski down
really pair up in threes yes sir
okay now it's very important hitler you
pay attention to me on the count of
three
open your eyes and you do a sit-up you
do a sit-up as fast as you can
ready one two
three the dreaded atomic sit-up
it's a giant executive desk toy i got
this one
oh god
[Music]
[Applause]
nah you gotta hit like this use your abs
like this
yeah that's it but what if i use a bat
like this
yeah that works black steve dave where
the hell have you been
not unfreezing adolf hitler what oh my
god
crap dude hitler bolted that can't be
good let's get out of here before it's
too late
[Applause]
[Music]
compatriots i fear i won't make it come
on lard ass move
words hurt dave oh side cramp
it's okay i think we're safe to take a
breather
wait did she say she liked bears not
exactly she said she liked unicorns dave
oh bummer
[Music]
they've got us surrounded well thanks
for ruining our hiding place
i can't believe it we're gonna get
killed by nazis
just like your granddaddy did boy he
took their bayonets with a smile on his
face i thought he got stabbed in a
brothel yeah a nasty problem
any more bright ideas dave look we both
made mistakes i unfroze hitler and
well i guess i was the one who made more
mistakes whatever the important thing is
we're about to die
so this is probably your final chance to
put the old salami in mary's
roll what yeah i did this all for you
dude so technically it's your fault
mary agreed to go out on a date with you
if larry approved the game he's right
stick it in me really ow what the hell
who are you guys don't y'all worry about
that now just get yourself safe let us
take care of them crazy crowds yeehaw
i rustled me up some cowboys
[Music]
do
[Applause]
[Music]
how humiliating i have been defeated
[Applause]
[Music]
again
paw patrol's have to rescue fosem nut
jobs all the time
shoot we sure are grateful to you old
cowpokes
that's our pleasure sir just make sure
to tell the folks back in the big city
the cowboys
do exist and some of us are right
honorable fellers
jerry relax i won't relax because
relaxation
is nazi bulls i just can't imagine what
a nice bunch of fellas like yourselves
are doing up in that learning bin anyhow
we're video game programmers and well to
make a long story short we have this
awesome video game that i invented of
course about hitler
you want to see it
[Music]
uh that ain't good i know it started as
a joke to see if mr larady would approve
anything but
what nah man i mean name graphics is
terrible and that gameplay seems mighty
primitivo
hey man and blob supposed to be
something those blobs
are little kids and that other blob is a
threshing machine and
you know what never mind i'm just saying
bellico visions hitler game is way
better than this
and polico vision dave
[Music]
this is so satisfying uh how many more
times do i have to do this
given the turd your hitler game laid in
the marketplace
why don't you just make this part of
your daily regimen think galileo
almighty
todd's brilliant cowboy versus nazi game
saved the company
it was my pleasure well at least this
little incident has finally ridden the
world to that bastard hitler
what the hell is that
well shoot don't worry that's not the
real hitler that's just one of his
clones on ice
just a little insurance policy if you
will guess what
dave more shaving less yapping
[Music]
the dreaded atomic sit-up