don't know
[Music]
fuzzy secret heart
[Music]
okay dude when she walks in you know
what to say right come on dave let's
just go back to work dude do not be a
dick cheese please help me have sex on
this girl
wow dave you sure have a mighty thrust
yes i do but you also have to be gentle
jerry wow and a soda you really are
quite the provider dave oh hey wendy i
didn't even see you there hey did you
catch me humping the soda machine in a
loving but forceful way yeah that was
kind of creepy do you like creepy sure
uh i have to go and you're sort of
blocking the door how about this i'll
let you leave if you agree to go out
with me okay well i'm sorry did you say
yes yeah why not that's awesome you're
not as stupid as i thought you were ugh
what the hell did you just say you
little soda humper sorry i meant smart
you're smart yo what's up jerkweeds
you're late for the meeting get over
here hey so what time did we say
[Music]
thanks dean in knights versus aliens you
control your knight and fend off the
invading aliens i would like to point
out that at no point in medieval history
did aliens invade europe unless of
course uh
you count the morse todd you know it's
just a video game right it's a
historically inaccurate video game dude
so is pac-man yeah uh pac-man wasn't a
real person yeah he was he was the
president right after lincoln look it up
anyway i think this is gonna be a bona
fide hit and i've even got a sweet
tagline knights versus aliens this
summer resistance is futile huh anyone i
don't get it see it's a reference to sit
down jerry now as you all know tomorrow
is the day of game of visions ipo
i know y'all have some questions about
what it means for you so i'd like to
introduce to you matthew milton my
personal investment advisor this
brokerage devil burn man lamb heart is
underwriting the whole thing matthew an
ipo is an initial public offering of
stock and a company that means as of
tomorrow game division will have
shareholders these shareholders include
yourselves as employees of the company
you're each entitled to a class b stock
which must be vested for six months
before hey i've got a package for a
clarence how dare you interrupt me tim
holy
oh boy
any questions that i must away away to
the brokerage house larity i will see
you later at the country club and still
later in hell whoa he's the best didn't
he he can hit it a mile off the tee box
but he putts like a queer with two limp
wrists
anyway enjoy your stock i'm sure it'll
be worth the voluntary 25 pay cut thank
you
[Music]
i don't know why he thinks he can get
away with this because he's a rich
capitalist and this is the way our
society works maybe downer
well you may all take this in stride but
i am going to write a very stern letter
and what fatty and if you would let me
finish file it away until the
appropriate moment comes to present it i
can't take any more of larry's baloney
watch your mouth dude
allow me maybe it'll all turn out for
the best how we just lost 25 of our
paychecks i don't know dave sometimes i
think that this is it for us i mean this
is not how i imagine my future how did
you imagine your future
thank you jasper will you be needing my
services anymore this evening sir no
take the night off thank you sir
min mao
dave i've been waiting all day for you
the jacuzzi's ready and i practice
holding my breath for four minutes well
that's three minutes too long kitten
scoot scoot yes master form of bomb of
course play with your stuff now yes yes
you may dude dude
dude you're kind of touching yourself uh
a lot oh sorry anyway my future is gonna
be awesome and so is yours dude someday
we're gonna make a bunch of money and
make all our dreams come true dave you
say that but how's that gonna happen if
we're gonna be working here our whole
lives i mean this is the 80s dave people
don't just make fortunes for no good
reason
[Music]
well people let this be a lesson to you
what can i say to console you but back
to work here what up fellow millionaires
uh sorry black steve you must have
missed the part where i told everybody
to get back to work work are you crazy
only thing i'm gonna be working on from
now on is my new album that little ipo
made me mother
rich how we can't sell the stock for six
months but you know you can borrow
against it [ __ ] cash money you can go
live your dreams my dream is to have
anonymous sex with different men every
single night
[Music]
the point is that none of y'all have to
work here anymore yeah you're wrong
black steve this hilarity is crazy it
beat me back-ended what you're doing at
your room minnie you got 200 more games
to test and if they ain't done by
sundown you are gonna taste my belt
go all right fine you don't want a ball
large that's your business just look out
for my new rap group black steve and the
black attack squadron honky killer
international with special guests
blackie blackerson
now now now listen everybody i know
millions in cash must sound appealing
but borrowing against stock is a tricky
lady you were saying mr larady
[Music]
hey yo i'm saying listen up we're black
steve in the black attack squadron honky
killer international with special guest
blackie blackerson what's up and this
track is called white [ __ ] is free
white [ __ ] is free white [ __ ] is
free ugly little brats i hope you like
these gas blowout
how you like us now black steve in the
black attack squadron
now suck it now roll over so i i ca
don't look at me don't look at me cause
all your white [ __ ] is free
[Music]
look my little friend the elves are here
to welcome us all hail king todd ruler
of tadonia it's good to be the king come
my minions let us grab
a snack and after lunch mothers shall
arrive and we shall execute her for
crimes against the king's mind for i am
no longer dependent on her evil social
security checks
claire you said duran duran was playing
and this is an s m club i know i own it
owning an s m dungeon
that's your lifelong dream surprise mary
you have a problem with that tell me i'm
pretty mary tell me i'm pretty uh claire
take that dad i mean mary wow
[ __ ] what are you doing dude i'm just
doing my job weren't you listening we
don't need this job anymore we're
multi-millionaires but while you're
typing could you whip me up a little
note dear karen i confess the crap in
your bed was from me not your dog dave
we're only millionaires on paper yeah
paper that's what money's printed on
dude the money we can get from borrowing
against our stock jerry you're my best
friend and i'm worried about you dude i
know it's hard to believe that we might
not have to spend our days trying to
come up with stupid game titles to
please dumbass larity hey i heard that
that doesn't make it any less true dad
this gold is heavy bro quit your whining
[ __ ] it's burying time now i know this
ipo deal is going to make larry a
billionaire but it's made us
millionaires and that means we can do
what we feel like isn't there anything
you feel like doing buddy yeah there's
one thing having you stop sitting on my
keyboard so i can get back to work not
good enough come with me
get twenty dollars out of your wallet
dave i am not buying you a lab dance i
have millions of dollars worth of game
of vision stock why would i need you to
buy me a lap dance you're buying a lap
dance for the little man inside of you
this is insane i'm leaving and jerry
with the money you made from the ipo you
could buy five lap dances a day for the
rest of your life and still have enough
left over for more lap dances i've done
the math so jerry meet misty that's my
real name i'm paying my way through
medical school i'm bisexual and
i have daddy issues
[Music]
dude give her twenty dollars and have
yourself a lap dance dude what the hell
freak show man
it's time to let go man let go
[Music]
[Applause]
i understand
finally now i understand
my pleasure jerry now i'm gonna go talk
to the dj and i hope you like white
snake oh the world's rarest and greatest
treasures
mine at last with the stash like this
history won't even remember my petty
little war crimes dude are you sure
those siberian tiger cubs are going to
be cool down there why wouldn't they be
i felt them three weeks ago didn't i now
when we're done securing this little
nest egg we gotta get back to doing
everything we can do to boost this stock
price but we're already
multi-billionaires
excuse me now who in the tar nation are
you what's up maybe he's a hot chick
disguised as a dude
what i'm neil horowitz from
international capital brokerage
management i'm here to review your
company's operation so we can make a
recommendation on its stock
as you can see even with the recent rise
a game of vision is still an undervalued
uh oh
hey
excuse me a minute dean where the hell
is everybody how should i know because
you're the supervisor i am awesome i'm
the
supervisor what you writing over there
slim nothing just is half a [ __ ]
hyphenated oh
dude this guy could bury us maybe we
should bury him if you catch madrid
you don't get it do you i mean murder
him and then bury his body oh excuse me
i'd love to meet the chief programmers
if that's possible oh of course of
course
great idea if anybody's going to be here
it's going to be them i'm here to meet
todd what the hell where's dave and
jerry what's your name
venus demilo oh
is that your real name of course also
i'm a virgin
here my work is done here i'm off to
rock and rap
right so where's these superstar
programmers of yours now that's a good
question sonny uh now i got the answer
right here in my waistband i am the
programmer what i've got this under
control dad don't worry yup that's right
i'm not just a pretty face and a pair of
rock hard pecs i'm also the brains
behind the entire operation let's dean
with an n well maybe you could give me a
sneak peek of your latest greatest
gaming development now that information
is highly confidential okay i was just
asking so i could advise our investors
as to whether they should keep pouring
their money into making you guys
extremely rich of course they should
show them the damn game boy got it
computer turn on computer become not off
maybe i can help
now can you show me the game well as you
can see it's gonna be completely rad
how about you just tell me about the
game oh sure it's called uh
super uh mega bro
bro super mega bro bro it's about this
guy from a frat house who gets power
from drinking brews and banging chicks
his name's dean and he bangs tons of
chicks and then one day this skank calls
the cops but uh it's cool cause his bros
are cool and then his dad gives the da
some cash yeah so then they throw a
kegger to celebrate and so dude what's
up another gagger of course
[Music]
well thanks for the tour it it's been
extremely illuminating sure i can't
bribe you or threaten your life for the
life of your family and friends no
thanks we'll be in touch well anything
you need let me know oh you look like a
drinking man and that liver can't last
forever now can it so what the hell are
you writing down now grocery list oh you
got any more bright ideas brains for
turns no bro do what you have to do dad
this gonna hurt you more than it hurts
me
[Music]
well my beautiful little friends i can
no longer afford to pay for your
friendship it was good while it lasted
do you want to settle now or should we
just billy bill me blinking i'll always
remember your squat deformed face
looking up at me smiling
with joy and winking i'll hear the
pitter pat of your short stubby
disgusting toes running through my mind
my name is mark although i can no longer
pay for your friendship i'm sure you
would like to stay knowing that the
camaraderie we've shared up until this
point is more than enough yeah
no
will i ever roll a good charisma well it
would have been a nice nightclub but
maybe it'll make an even better parking
structure i suppose so is there anything
else you need to take with you before we
bulldoze the place i don't think so
dave now that you sign with my label i'm
gonna make you the most famous rapper
since beastie boy
down your chimney black steve creep
pound your daughter jack your jeans it's
a special time of year time
[Music]
only problem is we might need a little
more money to finish the album money how
much money
[Music]
man that stock was a bust i even had to
sell my tom selleck bus you cannot rhyme
a word with the same word do whatever i
want to because i'm gay i stand
corrected you tricked us old man tricked
you you all tricked me leaving your jobs
without saying nothing i lost everything
yo dad what about all the stock we sold
on day one and used to buy the priceless
treasures and jewels that we better damn
the point is
i didn't come out of this thing smelling
like roses either
i lost a bunch of money and your
immortal soul yes matt i do remember
that good then back to hell back to hell
forever what about you dave you must
have borrowed against the stock too and
bought something idiotic like the rest
of these jackass actually i i shorted
the stock seriously yeah i thought to
myself what should i do and the answer
was borrow and then invest all my money
in porn and porn related items so then i
did the opposite of what i wanted to do
for once in my life and here i am well
dave i'm proud of you welcome to the
millionaires club son thanks
congratulations dave you really did it
you did it i suppose i shouldn't expect
you and jerry to come back to work well
looks like he checked out already in
fact where's that nerd bag anyway right
i left him at his house crap oh man
oh
double crap
oh no this place looks like a mexican
pawn shop hey cutie jerry buddy look at
me hey hands off my fix man it's me
jerry dave you gotta stop now man why
would i stop it's two for one till five
pm plus free brunch free brunch dave
you're not at a strip club crunch tastes
pretty good after you've puked a couple
times plus all these girls like me for
me not just my money right and i've
never got a venereal disease look at
yourself jerry you smell got stains on
your sweatpants and have a big scar on
your side
here you go misty same deal as always
who are those dudes um they want chinese
liver thieves dave i'm in love with who
with who with all of them with keisha
with star
fountain dazzle raven coochie and horina
did someone say my name who wants a lap
dance not now horina daddy's talking
snap out of it buddy game of vision
stock crashed we got to get out of here
give a vision stock oh my god what have
i done come on dude it's time to go back
to work and jerry in a sick way i'm
really proud of what you've done here
especially what you've done to the horse
just don't try to ah stand up too fast
dave i can't feel my crotch just as i
thought good god man you have lap dance
crotch
so how much did you end up in the hole i
don't want to talk about it jerry i'm
your friend i don't want to talk about
it quiet tries dale six zeroes or seven
zeros we talking about here
just think all that money gone in a poof
a banana scented perfume dave i said i
don't wanna talk about it i have it all
under control now if you don't mind i
have other jobs that i've gotta get to
jobs
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
come on jerry these sausages ain't gonna
deep fry themselves and neither is this
oh great
this place blows
[Music]
yo you better not have jacked up my
suspensions
[Music]
jasper you want to get that
okay i'm ready to talk about it your
banana daiquiris thank you jasper scoot
scoot former frother now what did you
want to talk to me about uh oh i can't
can't what i came here today to ask you
for money but you're using your money to
live your dream i can't take that away
from you i'm sorry i'll just go
ah there goes my best friend in the
world oh well time to make smoothies
scoot scoop if i may be so bold
jerry has been a very good friend to you
these many years i know remember when he
legally adopted you to stop the ins from
deporting you all the time he convinced
larity that you were sick when you were
really on a three-day acid trip or when
you were broken he bought you porn you
guys are absolutely right and i don't
even know how you know all this stuff
about me and jerry i can read dreams
we've got to do something even if it
means giving all you up a little stick
hockey first hell yes
[Music]
dude i cannot thank you enough don't
worry about it why would i want a
talking gorilla butler or a hot willing
anime chick or the world's most
versatile robot when i could spend the
rest of my days programming video games
with you that's what i really want out
of life dave are you being sarcastic no
what about now no
yes
[Music]
[ __ ] i love you stars above you shine
like wine girl you'll be fine now it's
time to suck my
you better not spit
what the [ __ ] are you doing dave it is
three in the morning we never shored up
the time of our date i'm calling the
cops don't call the cops you are so
creepy dave
can you see he loves you [ __ ] i love
you [ __ ]
[Music]
i can't feel my crotch
next week on code monkeys there's
infighting and game of visions crap get
them off of me so todd strikes out on
his own to prove himself i must capture
molly ringwolf yes
d and d guru gary gygax guest stars i
bestow upon you six points of sexual
stamina an all-new code monkeys next
wednesday night at nine only on g4