oh
[Music]
heart
[Music]
i love you
[Music]
what are you doing my computer is frozen
if i hit it in just the right way
it unfreezes oh yeah sorta
dave we need to finish this game you
know cause we're
game programmers fine i'll change my
pants later and when are you gonna get
this dead donkey out of here he is not
dead he
is sleeping dude why is there a dead
donkey in our office anyway yeah it's a
prank gone horribly wrong
he's still useful though for what let's
just say it gets super chilly in here
right
then i just cut him open like a tauntan
and sleep inside oh for warmth
what the hell is wrong with you you know
jerry all these questions are really
distracting me from programming video
games
which may i remind you is my job hey
guys yeah what's the word it's the
wizard of oz
hey mr wozniak boss man to you jerry
dave are you sleeping inside a dead
donkey like a tauntaun yeah
i uh i am i dig it hey how's the new
game coming good news
i'm a genius hobo killer guaranteed
number one
wow great job hey guys do the old ceo a
favor and round up the troops
meet me in the break room in 10. i have
a pretty big announcement
you got it chief
[Music]
hey what do you think woz's big
announcement could be i don't know but
it can't be good jerry listen to me
your best friend in the world you've got
to think positive man
i'm not sure i can make this that right
there is what i mean
think positive man okay think positive
[Music]
see you didn't die that was positive
yo black steve meeting in the break room
in five buddy you got it hey waz get you
a new gun
yeah i'm trying to get some inspiration
for my new game cracker barrel it's a
game where you shoot crackers in a
barrel
late i'm out of here you know that's
really weird because he's not even a
game programmer he's the accountant
[Music]
i'm talking about the scientific nacho
cheese
the one that has been chemically
formulated i mother
i have to go i have to go now mother ah
what say you good sirs what brings you
to todd's lair
looking for advice from the best
programmer in the world no i don't like
asking myself
questions no you see i am the be i see
clifford were you just talking to your
mom about nacho cheese mother and i
share many passions
one of which happens to be our
passion for nachos the other my
passion for her wow that is really
creepy todd when we find out how many
people are buried in your basement are
we gonna be more shocked or more
disappointed by the number what are you
a-holes what waz wants to meet with us
all in the break room
he has some kind of big announcement
fair enough i shall grace you with my
presence
but till then i say to leave be gone
okay todd i said be gone back
hey mary meeting in the break room dave
this is the women's spa
what ain't looking but i am taking
pictures hey mary
how's that game you're working on going
great i think red rhonda is really going
to teach girls about their periods
and be action-packed so boys will want
to play too that is totally cool
dude you are never going to bone her
dave mary tell him you're unbonable the
door is locked
out wait but maybe the back door isn't
security
knock knock who's there is there a
problem here you're just leaving
[Music]
dave what the hell are you doing well
mary if you must know
woz said i could put a urinal next to
the microwave why so i can make sure
that my frozen burrito doesn't get
overcooked but where are the pipes
what pipes well hmm perfect every time
hey everybody good times people promise
good times
thanks dave dave would you mind wearing
pants for this meeting you got it chief
and i'm sorry to you mary because the
free show is over you guys all
rule hell you were what i do that's why
i'm gonna miss you all
so much after i sell this company what
you're kidding right
that i feel you dave but you know to
everything
turn turn turn i think we build a great
community here at game of vision and i
know you guys are going to keep it going
no matter who the new owner turns out to
be
a new owner there'll be a bunch of
different buyers checking the place out
over the next week or so
i want you guys to show them what's so
great about this place dave
i'm looking for you to be the liaison if
that's cool you want me to help you sell
the company are you out of your day
yeah you know what on second thought i
think i'll help you as i think i can be
that dude for you
[Music]
so wass tells me you guys are the ones
that made johnny do
right i love that game at family works
we really believe video games can serve
a moral purpose
i'm sure you and clarence are going to
have a lot to talk about hey
guys come on in what in the heck this is
clarence
he does all the music for our games he
rocks and he sucks hey
everyone hop in the jacuzzi it's hot
rodney oh gosh
i'm getting out of here keep loving who
you love dude
hey todd these investors are from canada
oh yes welcome
dave tells me you're interested in
learning the secrets of a top video game
programmer yeah for sure we'd like to
check out the stuff before we invest
well let us begin first one must be
comfortable
whilst programming oh gosh let's do a
little word association shall we there
are no right or wrong answers let's go
jealous creepy no that is wrong let's
try again
dragon's lair creepy all right dudes
i'll see you in six hours those are both
wrong answers but there are no right or
wrong so let's
let's just try again barefoot witch
so i showed you the foosball table right
and uh this is the microwave
yes we're more interested in checking
your video game programming department
we've seen a microwave before yes but
have you seen a man
microwave a turd um no then consider
yourselves lucky
because that is my turd in there and i
am indeed microwaving it
hey guys dave giving you the grand tour
mr wozniak we have been dragged around
oh man i knew 10 minutes was too long
dave did you microwave your
yes ma'am that is a classic prank thanks
man
now that's a boss okay i'm gonna go burn
all my clothes now
yeah that's probably for the best but
it's a great company and it's the 80s
people really shouldn't be this uptight
[Music]
watch think fast was what the hell
i'm sorry dave my heart just isn't in
video games
i want to move on and make the world's
greatest computer dude please not this
again these devices are going to take
people to places they could never
imagine
anyone who can use a computer is going
to be more valuable than a ceo no
offense wise but home computers are
going to be a passing fad
like mtv maybe but i've got to chase my
dreams
i was even thinking of writing a book
how do you like i was as the title
damn it that is a great title that's why
we need you man because you're not a
douche
and that's like the highest compliment i
can pay anybody it's true he's never
called me not a douche and i'm his best
friend
i'm sorry guys but now that dave has
scared away all the potential buyers
i've got to sell the company to no don't
say it the leakovision just made a
formal offer today the lego vision
blinko vision is the ass of the gaming
industry that place is where awesomeness
goes to die
more code can't take it anymore
and ps they produce nothing but games
they do have dental shut up dude
woz please you can't sell out to bellico
vision there has to be another option
well
there is one investor you haven't scared
off yet a texas businessman by the name
of bob larridge sounds perfect
what because he's not bellico vision
jerry but selling to anyone without
discussing it with my employees wouldn't
be the wa's way
to the outdoor fun zone and barbecue pit
yeah he's the best
[Music]
the horn of consensus has sounded the
great and powerful was
hesitant my friends this is as much your
company as mine
that's why i'm going to settle this by a
majority vote and i promise to accept
whatever bid you choose
so everyone who would like to work for
bellico vision please raise their hands
everyone who wants to work for mr larity
please raise your hands
we should have a majority did someone
abstain it was jerry mr wise jerry
didn't vote by the way mr was that
outfit is very slimming on you come on
bro don't be a suit jerry
you know what's right he's a witch a
witch
burn him but we haven't even met lairdy
oh wish i tell you
he consumes baby skulls and fear
all right stop all right maybe i'm being
a little bit of an alarmist
all right buddy it looks like it's up to
you so who's it going to be
beleka vision or larry i guess if i had
to vote i guess
i would vote for
well jerry who's it gonna be dave or
me don't listen to her dude she's using
her vagina to confuse and amaze you
don't talk about my vagina you're in a
safe place jerry unless you pick wrong
then we'll have you up steven we talked
about your anger issues
sorry waz i need to learn to express
myself in less angry ways
what are you [ __ ] darinette i
did it again
i'm going to my mother pool of shame i
guess i'd have to choose
uh larity yes in your face mary
sorry woz you got anger issues girl
[Music]
i'm telling you you can get free rubbers
this week come on baby give me a little
bit more of something something
boy are you humping that condom machine
yeah
and by the way thanks for interrupting
my geo session tex boys
name's big t larry my friends call me
hoss and my family calls me carl that
was my paternal great grandfather's name
he was a homosexual died by his own hand
in 48.
you boys can call me mr larity
oh hi and this is my son dean i like
circles cause they're round and stuff
thank you dean that boy is r
e tarden dean why don't you drop a crank
out 100 push-ups
me and the boys here gonna have
ourselves a little meander
you got it dad one two three four
one two he can only count to four so
it's gonna
take a while one two three four
[Applause]
boys there's gonna be a lot of changes
here at game of vision great let's hear
him shut your yapper son
no talking while i'm talking first off
christmas is canceled
even jew christmas whoa we gotta get rid
of this bat
problem it's open season on them
bastards and absolutely
no more damn turtles yeah i hate turtles
too you know they spread symbolism
shut up i got syphilis from a turtle
once not from a mexican [ __ ]
[Music]
sorry sorry listen i don't know anything
about video games but i heard that you
two are my star
programmers so i am hell bent on having
you boys continue to do
what's really important to me making
sweet ass video games and getting messed
up on hooch
oh you goofy looking cow turd making me
money i love money i gotta blow up doll
made of money that i make
sweet love to every night that's messed
up
my love of money has helped me succeed
in women's coats
novelty items and now video games
there are three things big t don't much
of cotton to bats
turtles and people who with my money
boys it's me
clarence it's your best friend in the
world
who happens to be gay
whoa and whatever the hell that thing
what that's for shut up dave to a few
boys
well then we got ourselves a little
problemo
looking forward to working with you two
gentlemen excuse me boys
then bats is good eating yeah
great our new boss is a money-grubbing
psychopath nice going dave
well you voted for him jackhole okay so
what's the deal guys are we screwed or
what
everything is super cool everything will
remain the same
and don't worry cause nobody's getting
fired
[Music]
what the hell sorry sweetheart i need to
expand the men's room
i like to walk around like a caged tiger
before i take a big steaming tube
so what are the ladies supposed to use
well if you ladies could aim properly
you can pee in a coffee can but since
you can't
it ain't my problem dean let's go fill
up the swimming pool with semen
[Music]
black steven now you're going to be
sharing an office like hell i am
huh flak jacket son but nice try i
respect you for it
you got spirit you have earned your own
office
until the rematch of course
so looks like i own a video game company
let's hear some video game ideas ladies
oh well
sir i oh see when i say ladies
i mean it as a derogatory term for the
men no offense to the ladies so what do
you got for me lady well
i guess since i'm the best i'll go first
i know what you're all thinking todd how
can you top yourself after your
brilliant game space blaster
wow todd is such a douche well yes i
asked myself that very same question
and my answer is thus behold
space blaster two wow
todd that's right two ships two
blasters double fun two ships is the
holy grail of gaming
how did you do it who cares thank you
nerd with the cow horns on your head
okay which one he uses next yeah i'm
dave the best game programmer anyway
i've been working on several new titles
with my buddy jerry first one is a game
called
nazi sniper i love it dave a nazi who
snaps people
no it's actually a guy who kills nazis
oh
well i don't like it wait what here's
the deal people
it may seem like we're in training camp
but the super bowl's actually next week
that's why i can't have
any bench warmers on this team ain't
that right benny mr rarity
i can have more pixie stix please there
you go kid go crazy
[Music]
that kid's from korea company legally
adopted him i feed him cigarettes to
stun his growth and sugar to keep him
playing
you another one mr larry you're better
than baseball and
apple pie together yay america
thank you dude that imprisoned 10 year
old boy is gonna be testing all your
game
is that legal and ps i'm making my son
dean here
the new head of development so maybe we
can get some good games in here wicked
let's do it sweet hell okay i'll say it
now i
think i might have made a small mistake
you think
welcome stephen it occurs to me you've
uh never been to the lair before
yeah cuz you creep me out what do you
want ty look larry is a fool
a fool i tell you get to the point i'm
gonna beat you very well
with my cunning and your rage and
handiness with firearms
we can take clarity out what say you man
yeah all right but you gotta give me
twenty dollars fair enough and your van
okay yo and that sword excalibur knows
no hands but my nose the sword are
forgetting
very well i dub thee the black knight
protector todd if i find out black
knight is some racist crap
it's go time between me and you
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
oh sweet balls what has he done you like
it boy i took out
all the fun stuff too much fun killed
the hooker
as they say mr larady todd i have the
privilege of
buying you a delicious candy bar huh i
don't remember stocking the candy
machine with black fellas
what nice try stevie but i put
bulletproof glass in all my vending
machines and automobiles
i'll see you later fatty and you owe me
a baby ruth
[Music]
jerry really messed up this time but you
wanted larity too
was let's not play the blame game well
i'm not pointing any fingers
but look where my finger is pointing no
time for jokes dude listen dave
i'm sorry it's a little rocky right now
but mr larady is a good man he outlawed
frisbee friday what and he took my
urinal out of the break room that might
have been for the best all right i want
to tell you this but he put cement in
your saltwater fish tank he said he
wouldn't do that
i wish i could help you out dave but
it's too late larity owns game of vision
now
lame there is one option you could
always come work here with me what did i
tell you man
the home computer is dead laws
you sort of lack vision you know what
forget it i'm out of here
game of vision needs you it's your time
now it's my time here but it's your time
there you have to leave them now dave
plus you can hide your stash in there
okay man thanks you know
we just had a little moment here and i
kind of liked it oh and one more thing
have an apple for the road thanks woz
who names our company after a fruit
are you sure this is gonna work trust me
i'm a genius it better be chocolate cake
i'm jumping out of what the hell is that
a gigantic cake
oh it's vanilla motherfu yes my lord
just uh an office warming gift
nice office by the way very pleasant in
here manly yep just moving stuff
in
i heard about this it's one of them
fortune cakes with a black fella inside
hey bubba what's my fortune when you're
done
filling out this personality evaluation
worksheet give it to me
oh these are new employees applying for
the job
i don't even work here yet better you
taste my whip now
mary are you sure you want to go through
with this i'd rather get whipped by a
crazy man than shot by a crazy man
i really need to rethink my life dave
what are you doing here wow
even i'm stunned i'm not here to take
this job i'm here to stop you guys from
making the biggest mistakes of your
lives
listen we're like a great rock band like
the jackson five
oh and jerry ortito by the way together
we make kickass music but apart
we suck except for me because i'm
michael and i'm gonna put out thriller
but that's not the point the point is we
need to stick together
with david lee roth lee van halen would
morrissey leave the smiths
would george michael leave wham hell no
exactly look game of vision belongs to
all of us
not like this place this place doesn't
belong to anybody actually
i'm the majority stockholm you're
awesome majority douchebag so get
walking before i beat the crap out of
you
now let's get back to game of vision
everybody
sir please you've already branded me
twice you gonna wear that on your head
i'm gonna brand you like a steer
rope him dean that runs a lot faster
than you expect for a chubby guy come
here
gotcha that's what you get for trying to
kill me boy
and i would like to thank you black
steve
for letting me in on your little secret
maybe larry is kind of cool after all
anybody that hits todd with a branding
iron is okay by me
incredible could someone bring me some
children's aspirin
they're searing through my first
protective layer of fat
now that's touching bone
[Music]
dude where have you been dude i just
dropped a deuce in the brownie bowl
which is code for i took a dump in the
brownie bowl dave
shut up and then i wipe my ass on every
brownie in the bowl shut up
but it's cool because my poop is brown
and the brownies are brown
so no one will ever know dave turn
around oh man
gosh darn it that's the second time i've
eaten
this week
[Music]
hey everybody good times people you rule
wise